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\\#03 Playing With Fire;Todd: Your twin is really loving the attention. Elizabeth: Todd! Todd: Hey, look at Dana. Elizabeth: Todd! Are you staring at that miniskirt? Todd: You know I love you. Elizabeth: What is Bruce doing with Jessica? Todd: Dancing and flirting. Elizabeth: He wants something from Jessica, that has to be it. Todd: Yeah, maybe like sex. Elizabeth: Todd! You said the word sex! Jessica: Dancing with Bruce is hot. Bruce: Hey, we won the dance contest. Jessica: Oh, Bruce, you turn me on. Bruce: I know. Elizabeth: We need to follow them! Todd: Why? They aren't kids. Elizabeth: Something is going on. Todd: Can't we just let them be? Elizabeth: What? Todd: You know, maybe, let them have fun. Jessica: Oh, Bruce. Bruce: Hey, babe, let's makeout. Jessica: Oh, yes, my sexy boy. Bruce: Let's kiss passionately. Jessica: Oh yeah. Bruce: Let's get naked together and makeout. Jessica: You untied my bikini strings. Bruce: Yeah, let's have sex in the pool. Jessica: How about we do it some other place? Bruce: As long as we have sex. Elizabeth: Todd, we must find them. Todd: We can let them have fun. Elizabeth: I'm going to find them. Elizabeth: Jessica and Bruce are making out in the grass. Bruce's hand is going on a private place. Jessica: Oh... Bruce Bruce: You are getting me turned on. Jessica: Oh, touch me there. Elizabeth: What the hell is going on? Bruce: I'm making out with your twin, if you don't mind. Elizabeth: Jessica, get away! Bruce: *Touches Jessica* Elizabeth: He's touching your private parts! Jessica: I'm getting laid. Elizabeth: Talk to me now! I need to ask you something. Bruce: I'm kind of excited here, if you know what I mean. Elizabeth: Fuck you! Bruce: PMS much? Elizabeth: You are so inappropriate and should go to hell! Jessica: Can I have sex with him now? Elizabeth: Please, don't do it, please! Jessica: I'm gonna do it with him. Bruce: So, where were we? Jessica: You were touching my body parts. Bruce: Oh, yes. Jessica: Now here I'm about to say that Todd was with someone other than Liz, however, the dialouge says that I lied, instead of said or asked or exclaimed, it says lied, just in case the readers are under the age of 7and don't understand that I lied, the book is telling you that I lied. Bruce: Let's have sex. My mouth is demanding what my body wants. Jessica: I'm sure it's passionate kisses. Elizabeth: Where were you? Jessica: Having sex with Bruce. Elizabeth: What? Todd and I have been dating for three books and we haven't gone that far yet. Jessica: Bruce was so amazing. Elizabeth: I was out with Todd. Jessica: You interrupted uis when Bruce was about to- Elizabeth: Please, don't tell me! Jessica: Bruce loves me. Elizabeth: Yeah, are you sure? Jessica: Well, how far have you gone? Elizabeth: Todd is my boyfriend. Jessica: Bruce is my boyfriend. Elizabeth: Bruce is going to do something. Emily: Hi, Liz. Elizabeth: Oh, who are you? A new character? Emily: I'm just going to pimp my band. Elizabeth: Jessica and Bruce are making out!!!! Jessica: Oh, Bruce. Bruce: You liked that sex last night, didn't you? Jessica: Yeah, but I'm going to lose my virginity to a hot mechanic and marry him and lie about our marriage and Steven is going to go all incest on me and separate us and he will end up shooting my huisband and he'll be in a coma. Bruce: Yeah, but for now, let's have sex. Jessica: Yes, my Patman. Now, how about we do some sex and you'll give me a checkup, that's some sexual innuendo. Elizabeth: Now, onto a story. Oh, there's Robin Wilson. Robin: Where's Jessica? Elizabeth: Jessica's at cheer practice. Robin: Oh, really? Last I saw, Jessica was giving Bruce a blowjob on the front lawn. Elizabeth: Robin, how can you say such dirty things?!?!?! Elizabeth: So, Jessica is out with Bruce Patman. Robin: Winston's got the hots for me. Elizabeth: Well, my boyfriemd is Todd. Robin: So, Winston likes me. Elizabeth: Actually, Winston's into Jessica. Elizabeth: How about you join Todd and me on our date? Robin: Cool! Elizabeth: Oh, dinner. Jessica: I'll make it up to you sometime. Elizabeth: With you, sometime could be around the year 2000. Jessica: It's 2007. Elizabeth: Wow, talk about a dated line. This was written in 1983. Wow, this book is old. Jessica: Bruce and I are gonna get some lovin' in. Elizabeth: What do you mean by that? Jessica: Oh, Bruce you're so kinky. Bruce: I know, let's make out. Emily: Hey. Guy: hey. Dana: Hey. Emily: Who are all these random characters and what do they have to do with the plot? Jessica: Bruce... Oh... Bruce. Bruce: Wow, we had a lot of sex last night. Jessica: Yeah, now let's exchange very passionate kisses. Bruce: Yes, because we're just kissing, right? Elizabeth: Now, time to spy on them. Winston: I'm randomly here to be randomly here. Elizabeth: Todd and I are going on a date. Winston: I'll tag along. Elizabeth: Todd, this is an awesome ride. Todd: Yeah, let's have some fun. Elizabeth: So, we're off to see the band. Todd: Yeah, but where are they? This place looks like it hasn't been touched in decades. Elizabeth: Maybe this could be hinting at a new storyline? Todd: Maybe we should hang there and head back and have some fun. Elizabeth: Let's stay. Todd: I'm going to get a motorcyle. Elizabeth: Todd... Todd: I like motorcycles. I'm going to ride one. Elizabeth: I have a feeling that a storyline will be coming up involving you, me and your motorcycle. Todd: Let's drop Winston off so you and I could be together. Elizabeth: Alrihgt. Todd: Winston didn't give Robin a chance. Elizabeth: Winston wants Jessica. Todd: Your twin is at the bottom of this. Elizabeth: Well, Jessica and Bruce seem to be getting tight. Todd: Yeah, I hear that Jessica is having sex with Bruce and giving him blowjobs in his car. Elizabeth: Just what do you mean by that? How could you say that? Todd: Bruce gets sex from Jessica anytime he wants and wherever he wants. Elizabeth: Jessica wouldn't do that! Todd: Well, this book doesn't tell. Elizabeth: Well, we'll find out someday. Todd: Hey, Jessica can be with Bruce. You like it when I kiss you, right? Elizabeth: Yes. Todd: *Kiss* Elizabeth: I'm getting a feeling that something is going to happen. Jessica: Hey, Bruce. Bruce: Hey, baby. Jessica: I'll be a cheerleader and give you some sex in dress up fashion. Bruce: Let's have sex on the beach. Cara: OMG!LikeBruceissooocontrolling Elizabeth: I see. Elizabeth: I put something abotu Bruce in the paper. John: Bruce was in the car with someone else. Elizabeth: I'll try to figure thaty one out. John: Hey, can you back me up when I become rapist!John in about 90 books? Elizabeth: I keep thinking about this over and over. What could John mean by that? Someone elkse was in the car? Could it be that Bruce was- was what? What could John mean? What could it be? What? What? Whaty could it mean? What? After going over this conversation a hundred times, as the narrator said, what could it mean? *Three hours later* Elizabeth: I got it! Maybe it means that Bruce was... cheating? Jessica: Hey, Bruceie Bruce. Bruce: Give me a lapdance, babe. Jessica: Oh, baby, time for some S&M! Elizabeth: Todd, can you help me with this? Todd: What? Elizabeth: I got an idea. Todd: Alright. Jessica: Bruce... Bruce: Hey, babe. Jessica: I think I'll start dating an older guy that has a mustache, maybe a porn star named Scott. Todd: Well, we made it through this. Elizabeth: Yes, we did. Robin: Oh, nominate me for the sorority. Elizabeth: I sense a new plotline about to arrive. |
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