 | |||||
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
 |
||||
 |
 |
\\#04 Power Play;Liz: Well, it’s pledge week for Pi Beta Alpha again. Robin Wilson wants to pledge, but I’m worried, because those snobby Pi Betas will never let somebody as fat as Robin into their exclusive clique. Because I am wise and kind to all, I recognise that it is wrong to judge people on such superficial qualities. I know that Robin is a lovely person on the inside, and even though she is so overweight, she manages to stay so friendly and cheerful. Robin: Hey Liz, just dropping off all of Jessica’s books and dry cleaning. I guess I’d better eat some chocolate for no apparent reason now. Liz: Gee Robin, maybe all that chocolate is the reason why you’re so podgy. Robin: No, I’m just destined to be fat forever. There’s nothing I can do about it. Liz: Well, I suppose we can’t all have perfect size six figures, sun-streaked golden blonde hair, and sparkling eyes the exact same shade as the Pacific Ocean. Anyway, why are you doing all those really crappy chores that Jessica didn’t want to do? Robin: Oh, that’s just what best friends do for each other all the time. Liz: Best friends? As if! Jessica wouldn’t be caught dead socialising with somebody as overweight as you! Robin: Liz, I really wish Jessica would nominate me for Pi Beta Alpha. It’s more important than anything else in the world ever that I get in, and this is my last chance. Liz: Don’t worry, there’ll be at least two more pledge seasons before we eventually become seniors. But it’s OK, I’ll nominate you. Robin: YAY! I can’t think of anything else that could possibly be more exciting than being nominated for a high-school sorority. I’ll just celebrate with some more chocolate. Oh, here’s Jessica, my best friend! *hug* Jessica: Ewwww, get off me, fat person! Let me just remove this brand new silk scarf that Lila gave me in an unprecedented, random act of generosity. Liz: Wow, I’m really suspicious about that scarf. By the way, I’m going to nominate Robin for Pi Beta Alpha. Jessica: What? But she can’t be in the sorority. She’s fat, in case you’d forgotten. Liz: Even fat people can be beautiful on the inside. Jessica: Well, we’ll see about THAT! ---------- Jessica: Welcome, everybody, to the Pi Beta Alpha meeting. Now, let’s all go home. Liz: Wait! I want to nominate Robin Wilson as a pledge! The Pi Betas: What? She’s the size of a house! We can’t possibly associate ourselves with her! But if one of the Wakefield twins says so, then there’s no way we can object. Their word is law. Jessica: OK, well, I’ll just give her pledge tasks that draw attention to how unpopular and pudgy she is. That’ll teach her. ------------------ Jessica: Robin, we’re here to tell you that you’re a pledge. Lila: So this is what a fat person’s house looks like. Robin: YAY! This is the best news in the history of the world! I’d better go eat an entire cheesecake to celebrate. Lila: Quick, let’s go, obesity might be catching! ------------------ Jessica: My daily stretching routine is the ideal opportunity to wear these expensive gold earrings that Lila just gave me. Liz: Using my powers of insight, I have sensed that there is something suspicious about all of these gifts Lila keeps giving you. Jessica: Meh. Who cares? ------------------- Jessica: Robin, run round that athletics field 5 times every day. Robin: OK. Students: Hahaha let’s all point and laugh because she’s fat and ugly. -------------------- Robin: Oh no, my next task is to show up at the beach wearing only a bikini and play volleyball! But I don’t have a bikini, only a swimsuit that’s too small for me! What am I going to do? Liz: It’s OK, stick with me, since I seem to be the only person in Sweet Valley who doesn’t have a problem with people who are larger than I am. Robin: Hey, this isn’t so bad after all! Jessica: Dammit, I must knock all of this new-found confidence out of her. Robin, in order to prove your loyalty to PBA, you must get Bruce to take you to the next school dance. You’re totally going to fail. -------------------------- Jessica: Oh no! Robin’s here, in a dress like a tent! And she’s with Bruce! Bruce: I just brought you here because Liz bribed me. But now I’m going to dump you publicly because you’re a blimp and therefore unworthy of respect. Robin: I’m the fattest and ugliest girl in California! Liz: Actually, I bet if you lost loads of weight, you’d be pretty. Allen: Hey, Robin, we’re both shy outcasts. Let’s bond over how unpopular we are. Fancy a dance? Robin: My, what lovely eyes you’ve got. --------------------------- Jessica: Well, everybody, after today’s vote, it seems Robin has been blackballed and can’t join PBA. I don’t know who did it, but it certainly wasn’t me. Nope. Definitely not. Robin: So, did I get in?? Jessica: No, but don’t worry, whenever I need somebody to do my chores, you’ll be the first person I turn to. Robin: My life is ruined! I may as well kill myself now! Liz: Jess, shouldn’t you be worried, or feel guilty, or something? Jessica: Whatever. Liz: I can’t believe how mean everyone’s being to Robin. I know, I’ll use the high school paper as a means of trying to change society. Jessica: It’s so unfair that you wrote that article about me just because I insulted Robin, betrayed her trust, and deliberately excluded her from PBA! -------------- Liz: I knew there was something dodgy about Lila! I just saw her shoplifting at the mall! And instead of sticking around to explain what I saw to the saleswoman and clear myself, I thought it best to run away. I’m sure that didn’t make me look suspicious at all. Jessica: Liz, there’s something weird about Robin. She’s acting like a drone, she won’t stop running round the track, and for some reason she’s ignoring me! Liz: Hmmmm, that’s weird. By the way, you should stay away from Lila. I’m not going to tell you why, but I will make cryptic comments about how she’s bad news. Jessica: Whatever. You should know by now that I never listen to anything you say. As long as I get the gold, I’m not going to ask any questions. -------------------- Robin: Liz, I want to thank you for showing me the error of my ways. I can see now that all of those snobs aren’t worth talking to. Now, I’m going to run 50 more laps of the track, before jogging to the cafeteria to eat some lettuce leaves, 2 tomato slices and a hard-boiled egg. Liz: Say, do you think there’s any chance that your unhealthy relationship with food and yo-yo dieting could lead to an eating disorder? Robin: Yes. But that’s an issue for the early 90s, when we develop a social conscience, and realise that our bizarre attitudes towards beauty and thinness could warp our young, impressionable female readers. --------------------- Lila: Liz, come quick, Jessica has been arrested for shoplifting! Liz: Jessica? But YOU’RE the one who’s been shoplifting! Lila: Yes, you’ve found me out. This was my cry for help. Even though I am rich and privileged and live in a mansion, you should actually feel sorry for me, because my father never pays me any attention. I’m practically a neglected child. Mr. Fowler: It’s OK, I’ll use my considerable wealth and influence to buy you out of this problem! -------------------- Jessica: Robin’s trying out for the cheerleading squad! What the hell’s going on around here?? Liz: Jeez, Jess, isn’t it obvious? Practically overnight Robin’s lost loads of weight, and now she’s become beautiful and popular. Bruce: I used to think Robin was ugly and boring, but now that she’s thin, I can see that she’s just my kind of girl. Robin: And I used to think that acceptance was worth more than my pride and self-respect, but now I can see I was wrong. Liz: Eh? But you lost weight to be like everybody else, and now you’re popular. None of this makes sense. ---------------------- Jessica: I’m determined to be Miss Sweet Valley High. The entire football team is in love with me. And I’ve given them sexual favours so they’ll vote for me. Nothing like a bit of team spirit! I guess I’d better practise my acceptance speech now. Winston: And Miss Sweet Valley High is Robin Wilson. She’s gone from the butt of all our jokes to the most popular girl in school in a matter of days. And there’s nothing weird or unrealistic about that in the slightest. Cheerleaders: Even though you’ve never done any cheerleading before, you’re obviously the perfect choice for co-captain of the squad! You’ll pick up the routines in no time. Robin: And just to make sure there are no loose ends, I’ll start dating Allen Walters. Jessica: Wow, I didn’t learn anything from this experience. Robin’s just like one of us now, so I don’t even have to re-assess my attitude towards people who aren’t stick thin. I guess I’d better move on unscathed to my next bitchy scheme now! Who knows, it may even involve college students with sinister porno moustaches... |
 |
||
 |
|
 |
|||
 |
|||||
