\\#23 Say Goodbye;

Jessica: Liz open this door otherwise I'll break it down, or at least I'll ask Winston to!

Liz: Jessica, how can I possibly survive, my one true love, the only love I've had in my whole sixteen years of life is moving away. I'll never meet anyone else. There is no hope of reconciliation! At least until college!

Jessica: Personally I always thought Todd was about as exciting as watching paint dry.

Liz: You'd never understand my pain, bitch!

Jessica: Come on, Liz, look on the bright side. Once Todd is gone you can be more like me!................Liz, why are you crying again?

Liz: I'll never survive, Todd. If you're gone. I'll have to eat french fries in the dairy burger by myself..... or with Enid.

Todd: It's just like when we thought you were moving to San Francisco.

Liz: Fine, if you're going to be picky about it, I'll just resent the fact you're going to have all these new experiences while I'm stuck here.

Todd: Yeah, because I'm really looking forward to freezing my butt off!

Ned: Jessica, we're in one of our responsibility stages in this book, so you'll have to pay us back the money you charged on card.

Jessica: No fair! Lila set me up!

Ned: You'll have to get some money the same way we do.

Jessica: You mean I have to .........work? That's a good one, dad. For a moment I thought you were serious!

Liz: Thousands of miles won't stand in the way of our love...................unless like a really good offer come in. But it would have to be really good! That's how in love I am!

Enid: I'm you're best friend so I've arranged you party even though I can see how upset and worried you are about Todd moving away.

Liz: Thanks, Enid, that gives me a chance to prove how nice I am by just secretly resenting it.

Enid: Also even though Todd isn't on a plane yet I think we should start working out which guy you should date next!

Liz: I'm not dating other guys. I'll be loyal to Todd.

Enid: Even I think that idea sucks and that's saying something

Jessica: Steven, it's totally your fault that you didn't get over your girlfriend's death in one book and love Cara!

Steven: Don't worry, Jess. I'm eyeing her up for a couple of books down the line.

Jessica: It's perfectly normal for me to stand here thinking how hot my brother is.

Liz: Steven, what are you doing in my room?

Steven: The authors just wanted another character to come and point out the pitfuls of a long term relationship in case the readers haven't got that message yet.

Mary Ann: Jessica, even though I've just caught you riffling through my drawers I'm going to give you a key to my office. You're obviously a person who can be trusted with responsibility!

Jessica: I wonder why more people don't say that to me?

Mary Ann: I think Liz and Todd sound like an ideal couple.

Jessica: You may be right.... but I'm still setting her up with Nicholas.

Nicholas: No, Jess. I've given up stalking Liz since she fought me off the last time!

Jessica: Come on, Nicholas. Liz finds stalking sexy now, she told me.

Nicholas: Ok, but let's at least make it look like I took some convincing!

Todd: Could you wait a whole year and a half for me, Liz?

Liz: Ummm.... how often will you be visiting again?

Jessica: I know what'll cheer Steven up. I'll set him up with a bunch of heinously inappropriate women!

Liz: Todd's gone

Jessica: Don't worry, Liz, Nicholas is here now! Oh whoops you're not supposed to know that yet.

Liz: Rather than sensibly balancing my time between Todd and my life in Sweet Valley, I'll show my devotion by writing letters to Todd, even when anyone with any sense would be checking that Jessica was driving on the right side of the road. This will give me an excuse to dump him later.

Jessica: I was wrong, it is possible to hate my sister's devotion to Todd Wilkins even when he's Vermont!

Cara: I will show my new sympathetic side by sympathising with Liz. How else are the authors finally going to let me get the hot Steven?

Jessica: Rather than doing something nice for Liz like asking Mr Collins to give her extra work purely to take her mind of Todd, I'll use it as an excuse to set her up with a stalker.

Jessica: Nicholas, I don't see what your nervous about!

Nicholas: Maybe because of all the times Liz has told me no already? But anyway, Jess, even though I saw Liz's obvious devotion to Todd I will believe you that she's over him.

Liz: How strange that Nicholas just called.

Jessica: Nothing to do with me! Absolutely nothing to do with me! But I think you should go on that date with him.

Liz: How do you know he asked me on a date?

Jessica: *shrugs shoulders innocently* twin telepathy

Elizabeth: Making inappropriate comments and refusing to leave my side doesn't make Nicholas a stalker

Bruce: Hey, Liz, let me give you some advice.

Liz: YOU?

Bruce: This is the book where you point out how nice I've become since I met Regina remember?

Liz: Oh yeah, sorry Bruce. Thanks for the advice.

Nicholas: Liz, I love you!

Liz: Oh Nicholas, how sweet that you want to be friends

Liz: My feelings for Todd are so strong I can handle a barbeque at the Morrows.

Nicholas: Want to go on a date with making out and stuff?

Liz: Sure! But we're just making out as friends, right?

Jessica: I'll be a good sister by continually reminding Liz that Todd is thousands of miles away and Nicholas is hot!

Todd: What a brilliant time for me to call! The one time the new convent Liz is out!

Jessica: I know! Now I can manipulate you into believing you're ruining Liz's life.

Liz: Todd hasn't called for a day!

Nicholas: That's terrible Liz, want to make out?

Liz: Sure!

Jessica: Nicholas is hot

Liz: I know but it's Todd I really want! However it's been at least a day and a half since he called now so I'll continue to date Nicholas anyway.

Steven: Jessica did you have anything to do with that heinously inappropriate woman who just showed up?

Jessica: Me? No!

Enid: I can sort this out in one paragraph, Liz. Nicholas is a hot stalker but you're just on the rebound from Todd, and your sister is a bitch.

Liz: If only I'd spoken to Enid sooner, then we could have sorted this out one hundred pages ago!

Todd: Even though Liz thought she wouldn't see me for months, I'm back. It's not like I'll find her with another guy or anything.

Steven: Cara, you so vunerable and sensitive.

Cara: I know. That's the look I was going for. I mean Oh Steven

Jessica: What are you doing here Todd?

Todd: Your plan had to go wrong somewhere, didn't it?

Jessica: Darn those authors!

Todd: Liz!!!!!!!!!!!

Liz: Todd, I'm so sorry.

Todd: It's ok Liz, I forgive you and because no one can punish Jessica in these books I forgive her too.

Liz: That's so sweet, Todd. You're dumped!

Jessica: Wow not only didn't I get in trouble. I finally got rid of Todd. This was one hell of a book!