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\\#49 Playing For Keeps;Jeffrey: Hey, Most Popular! Liz: Why are you calling me that? Jeffrey: To remind the readers about all the controversy the slam books caused in the book before this. Liz: Right! Well, check out Biggest Flirt over there! Jeffrey: Jessica? Yup, I sure did pick the right twin! -------- AJ: Hey Jess. Jessica: Hi AJ. Want to ditch the sunny beach and hit the library? AJ: Uh, I guess so. Amy: Jess, have you gone nuts? You? Study? Seriously? Jessica: Shut up, Amy, I’m extremely serious and devoted to my work. Lila: Amy, I think Jessica’s changing her personality to make AJ like her. Amy: Wow Lila, what an obvious observation! Lila: Yeah, but I had to say it, just in case anyone else hadn’t figured it out yet. --------- Jessica: Hey AJ, check it out, I can totally read poetry. AJ: That’s great, Jess. Wanna go to the Dairi Burger? Jessica: But I was in the middle of a sonnet! AJ: I’ll read it at home, let’s go have fun. Winston: Hey Jessica, we’re all practically dying of boredom without you lately, what the hell are you doing in the library? I didn’t know you knew where it was. Hell, if I’d had to bet on it, I’d have wagered you couldn’t even SPELL library! AJ: Jessica, why are they saying – Jessica: Get me a soda AJ! Dammit Winston, I’m an extremely serious and devoted person now. Winston: Since when? Jessica: Yesterday! Now stop teasing me! ----------- Liz: Jess, why was AJ telling me that you 2 were supposed to go to a Save the Whales meeting together? Jessica: Because I’m an extremely serious and devoted person now, and that’s what we serious and devoted people do. Liz: I thought I was the serious and devoted one. Jessica: Not in this book. Liz: So you’re doing this to make AJ like you? Jessica: Well, he won’t like me if I act like my normal self. Liz: True. And I can’t say as I blame him! But still, it’s not cool to deceive him. Jessica: But I have to! He’s so hot! I even wrote a love poem for him! Liz: Um, you know, when I started acting all out-of-character, at least they put me in a coma first. ------ Jessica: Hey AJ, great hike! AJ: Can we go have fun with our friends now? Jessica: No! I am extremely serious and devoted, and even though you keep hinting that you’d like to do other fun things, this is what will attract you! So sit down and like it! AJ: Oh my gosh that girl is drowning! Pamela: You saved my life! And you’re hot! Score! Jessica: Eww, why did you save her? She’s pretty and slutty! Pamela: Plus I drive a Mercedes and I’m rich! Jessica: Should’ve left her in there. -------- Pamela: AJ, you left your towel at my house. AJ: Be right over! Pamela: Thanks for coming, want to go in the hot-tub? AJ: I didn’t bring a bathing suit. Pamela: Who said anything about wearing bathing suits? AJ: I’d love to – trust me, I would – but I have to go meet Jessica at the library. Pamela: What? Library? I just offered you naked hot-tubbing in my snooty house, and you’re going to the library? Are you okay? AJ: Yeah just, uh, I, uh – Pamela: Well in spit of your obvious discomfort, at least think about coming to a dance with me, okay? AJ: Okay. ------------- Amy: So Jess, are you gonna sign up for the modeling contest at Lisette’s? The prize is a complete Nadine wardrobe! Jessica: Ohhhhh, dammit! I would, but now that I’m serious and devoted to my work, I can’t. Modeling’s for bubbleheads. Amy: Hey! I’m a bubblehead! But I’m not signing up because those clothes make me look fat. Jessica: Okay I’ll sign up since I see Pamela signing up over there. Pamela: Well Rebecca, I bet AJ will love me in this Nadine outfit. Jessica: It's Jessica! You know, the old Jessica would’ve told you to bite me, but now that I’m serious and devoted, I can’t do that. Lila: Bite her! Jessica: Thanks, Li. So Pamela, I guess it’s a walk-off! ------------ AJ: Jess, sorry I was late for the library, I went to Pamela’s and we were waiting for her parents but they didn’t come home so – Jessica: Oh Liz! My life is over! AJ went to that slut Pamela’s house! Liz: Maybe our double-date will cheer you up. AJ: What do you want on your pizza, Jess? Jessica: Anything you want. And any drinks you want. Anything you think is great, I think is great. Liz: Geez Jess, you’re laying it on a little thick. Just be yourself. Jessica: No! This has to work! Liz: Whatever. ------------- Pamela: So AJ, you coming to the dance with me? AJ: I don’t think I can. Pamela: Ugh, are you still seeing that waste of space? AJ: Yup. Jessica: Way to defend my honor, AJ! Pamela: Well I guess I’ll see you at the walk-off on Saturday! ---------- Jessica: Oh my gosh, my life is ruined again! Pamela ruined all my modeling outfits! My zipper jammed, I got water on me, and my hem was ripped! I hate you, you skanky whore! Leave AJ alone! Audience: Gasp! AJ: Oh my God Jess, that was such a turn-on! Jessica: Oh AJ! Do me right here on this stage, in front of everyone! AJ: Uh, maybe let’s not go that far. Jessica: Maybe later. I guess in the end, being my real self is all that mattered. Liz: How many times did I have to say it? Ugh! Why do I even open my mouth?!? ---------- Olivia: Hey Liz, can you talk about the upcoming talent show in Eyes and Ears? Liz: Sure! I’ll say that we hope Jade will try out. Jade: I wish I could, but my dad is just soooooo Chinese, he won’t let me. Liz: So Chinese? Don’t you think you’re being prejudiced towards your own family? Jade: You just don't know what it's like! With your blond hair and blue eyes and perfect size-6 figure... |
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