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\\#81 Rosa's Lie;Lila: God, I love rush week for Pi Beta Alpha. It’s such a good opportunity to be snobby and elitist, you know? Really makes a lot of girls feel bad about themselves, and I just can’t get enough. Todd: We could use some new people in Phi Sig. But I bet Patman wouldn’t like that idea. Rose: Hey everyone! Just thought I’d pop over and remind you that I came here from Massachusetts. Not any other states or anything. ------------------------------------ Jessica: So. Who should we nominate for PBA? Lila: Duh. Rich, white girls of course! Jessica: Let’s nominate Rose Jameson. Lila: Uh, she’s not snobby enough Jess. But she is gorgeous, so that makes her Pi Beta material. Rose: Thanks Lila! Wow, this is a good time for some internal reflection on the fact that I’m Mexican, my parents are Mexican, and my whole family is Mexican. We came from Texas but I tell everyone I’m from Massachusetts. I’m apparently ashamed of being Mexican, and think people won’t accept me if I’m honest, although I don’t really know why. I guess it’s partly because my parents set such a poor example about being proud of who you are when they changed our last name from Jiminez to Jameson in order to sell more farm tools at their business. ---------------------------------- Bruce: So, Wilkins, you want to let new guys into Phi Sig? Because we can’t just let anyone join, you know. I’m just as elitist as Lila is. Todd: Well, my friends are joining. Bruce: Then so are mine! Todd: Fine! Bruce: Fine! Liz: Way to be mature, guys! ---------------------------------- Lila: Ugh! Maid, take this fruit away, I specifically asked for seedless grapes, and there’s a seed in here. Pssh! Mexicans! Jessica: Lila, why are you shouting? Lila: Duh, because she barely speaks English, but if you shout, you get your point across. Rose: *gulp* Lila: So Rose! We can’t possibly let you be a PBA unless you tell us about your family. Rose: Well, we are straight off the Mayflower. We’re all kinds of white anglo-saxon. I’m practically best friends with Princess Diana. And I’ve never even talked to any person with a different skin color than mine. Lila: That’s what I like to hear! Now, as your first task, write a love note to that geek over there. Rose: Yes! Let’s continue to make fun of people who are different than us, because different equals bad! ------------------------------- Sam: Hey Jess, let’s go to the Dairi Burger. Jessica: But I’m failing every subject. Sam: Please? Jessica: Okay, you talked me into it! --------------------------------- Todd: How about if we come up with tasks for each other’s pledges? Bruce: Okay. Yours have to change the clock, which will probably lead to them breaking their necks, but oh well! Todd: Well yours have to steal a school bus and go get us pizza. Jim, Tom, Rod, Paul: This sucks! Bruce: Well, now they have to steal all the guidance counselor’s furniture and put it outside. Todd: Then yours have to check out 100 library books! Liz: This is so childish! Todd: Stay out of it, woman! The men are speaking! ------------------------------ Sam: Let’s go out again, Jess. Jessica: Sam, I’m seriously failing everything. But sure, see you in 20 minutes! Liz, cover for me or I’ll destroy you! Tata! ------------------------------- Lila: Hey Rose, nice house! Rose: Yup, just a normal, white, upper-middle class house, nothing Mexican about it. Jessica: What? Rose: I said, want some snacks? Mr. Jameson: Rose, your Nana is coming to visit! Rose: That old bag?? NO!!!! She’ll ruin everything! She’s so…Mexican! Nana: Rosa – Rose: It’s Rose, you old hag! Nana: Rose. Fine. So good to see you, my beautiful granddaughter! Rose: Nana, quick, in the closet, someone might see you! Oh, this is going to be a looooooong 2 weeks. By the way Lila, we have to cancel all our plans for my house. Lila: Oh, okay then. --------------------------------- Sam: Hey Jess, let’s go swimming. Jessica: Okay! Oops, a progress report for my failing math grade! Into the trash you go! Hey, who is that hot chick I keep seeing you with? Sam: Just a friend Jessica: Hmmm… ------------------------------------ Nana: Rosa, let me teach you to make traditional Mexican food. Rose: Yeah sure whatever, just let me draw the shades down and lock the doors. By the way I got you concert tickets. Oh crap, they’re for your last night here and I’m having a party! What a terrible, terrible coincidence (not)! Nana: Oh by the way Rosa, I made you and your friends a cake for the party, and a dress for you to wear. Rose: Ewwww! This cake has Mexican words on it! Into the trash you go, cake! ---------------------------- Todd: Your pledges have to steal the other tennis team’s racket covers. Bruce: And yours have to steal pom poms from the El Carro cheerleaders. Liz: Seriously, this couldn’t possibly be more childish. Todd: Woman, what did I say about talking? Tom, Rod, Jim, Paul: F*** this, we quit! ---------------------------------- Sam: Hey Jess, want to come to a party at Lana’s? Jessica: I’m grounded! And stop cheating with that whore! ----------------------------------- Lila: Oh my gosh, a little girl fell down the well! Oh wait, she’s Mexican, it’s okay, we can leave her! Rose: Oh no! If I speak Spanish to calm the girl, they’ll know I’m Mexican. But if I don’t a little girl could die. How do I ever choose, it’s so hard! Lila: Rose, you speak Mexican? PBA does not look kindly on that. But don’t worry, we won’t tell. Jessica: Stuff it, Lila! Rose: My real name is Rosa. I’m from Texas. And I’m…Mexican. Jessica: Uh, okay, so what? Amy: Yeah, don’t you think it kind of speaks more to your character that you lied to us about who you really are? You can still join PBA. Jessica: Yup! Only I can’t go to the dance because I’m grounded, and no one understands me, waaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!! Rosa: Thanks guys, but no. As you know, I’m Mexican, and that means I can’t join. Amy: This is all sort of confusing. Can’t you be Rosa, the Mexican girl, and still be in PBA? Rosa: Nope! ------------------------------ Jessica: I can’t BELIEVE Mom and Dad grounded me just for lying about failing a test and then throwing away their mail! They must hate me and Sam! Liz: That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think? Jessica: When am I EVER dramatic?!?!? |
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