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\\#96 The Arrest;Previously, on Sweet Valley High: Jessica: I’m going to be Jungle Prom Queen! No matter what I have to do to for it! Liz: This punch is the sh*t!!!! Jessica: Oh, God, I killed Sam!!! Liz: Oh, God, *I* killed Sam!!! Margo: I’m evil. Bruce: I’m in love. Nicholas: I’m lonely. Todd: Elizabeth who? Margo: I’m still evil. ----------------------- Liz: Oh my God I was arrested. Hooker: You’d be very successful as a hooker. Liz: Oh God help me! ----------------------------------------- Detective: You were jealous your sister was elected queen instead of you so you took her boyfriend and crashed the car, killing him in a fit of rage. What say you? Liz: I don‘t remember.. Detective: Detective: You’re gonna have to come up with something better than that. And since you’re going to stand trial for a crime that half the time never makes it to court can go home now. Liz: Dad I’m scared. Ned: Don’t worry, honey, I’ll be your lawyer. Liz: Don’t you work in a different branch of law? ----------------------------------------- Lila: Grace Grace Grace Grace Grace… Amy: Don’t you think your expectations are unrealistically high? Lila: You’re just jealous!!!! Amy: Yeah. I *so* wish my mother left me when I was two leaving me with abandonment issues. ----------------------------------------- Steven: My family’s falling apart and I’m in the middle of a nervous breakdown! I know! This is the perfect time to get a new roomie! ----------------------- Jessica: I’m so upset about Sam dying I’m going to make myself feel nothing at all. Emotions be gone! Gee, that was easy. Now Elizabeth will pay for my irresponsible actions. There is a God. And he likes me better because I’m the pretty one. ----------------------- Georgie: Let me out, Michelle! Margo: No! You’re a weak child and weak children deserve to die! The Voice: Kill him and go to California. Margo: Kee-doke. *sings* I wish they all could be California girls! ----------------------- Nicholas: I’m the ideal mate but no girl wants me. God I’m such a loser. *gets letter* I’m appearing on Hunks! Maybe I’ll get lucky! ----------------------- Liz: I’d rather be in prison than back at school. Enid: Well since I’m your best friend I’ll always be here for you. And now with your reputation in the gutter I’m the popular one. Yes! I’m going to get some sugar-free jello. Liz: *snatches paper about her arrest from Enids book bag* Traitor! ----------------------- Lila: I don’t know where to take her to dinner. Amy: Maybe she doesn’t care as long as she was with you. Lila: What the hell are you talking about? Of course she’s going to care. Caroline: Mothers suck. Jessica: God, Caroline, how insensitive can you get? Caroline: If I could remember what it’s called that you’re being like right now, I’d call you on it. ----------------------- Margo: *has evil nightmare* I’m scared. Evil Voice: Time to kill the innocent child. *cue evil music* Margo: I’m right on top of that, Evil Voice. ----------------------- Lila: Grace this! Grace that! Picture blahblahblah! Jessica: yeah, really great. Lila: This is important to me! Jessica: You’re interrupting my plan for revenge on Elizabeth for what I did to Sam! Oh yes. Todd. ----------------------- Bruce: What do you want, slut? Pamela: A chance to explain. Bruce: Fine. Once chance. Don’t screw it up. ----------------------- Jessica: Todd, I’m alone and naked. I need you. Todd: Well, you do look a lot like Elizabeth. Let’s go somewhere and I’ll make you feel better. ----------------------- Amy: I’m worried about Jessica. Lila: Why? ----------------------- Georgie: I’m not coming out and you’re not going to trick me. Margo: I’ll be nice, I promise. Georgie: Okay. Margo: Tell me where the keys to safe are you brat! Georgie: You said you’d be nice! Margo: I haven’t killed you yet. That was nice! ----------------------- Nicholas: I’m rich and handsome and only slightly creepy. Jakki: *head rotates 360 degrees* Brains! BRAINS!!! Nicholas: You frighten me. Jakki: *Bites the head off a bat.* Nicholas: Olivia! Save me! ----------------------- Bruce: One chance, and you were late. You better make this good. Pamela: Bruce, I-- Jake: She’s excellent in the sack. Want some pointers? Bruce: I’m leaving now. ----------------------- Margo: Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie. Ate too many cookies, and had to die! ----------------------- Grace: Lila! George! Lila: Grace! George: Lila! Grace: George! Pierre: Pierre! ----------------------- Todd’s Inner Monologue: Dates with Jessica suck. Don’t I ever learn? Jessica’s Inner Monologue: He’s buying the pity act! Quick, shed a tear! Todd’s Inner Monologue: She looks so pathetic. I’m such a jerk! Jessica’s Inner Monologue: Haha! Wilkins, you’re mine! *awkward kissing* ----------------------- Amy: Sam’s been dead two weeks and Jessica’s making out with Todd? Does anyone else see anything wrong with this? Caroline: It’s good she’s getting back into the swing of things. Amy: You know there’s something wrong when I’m the only one noticing anything amiss. ----------------------- Grace: I know I haven’t been here the last fourteen years of your life--it was because your father is a bastard but let’s not go into that now--but I want us to have a heart to heart about everything that’s happened to you recently. Lila: Oh, Grace, I’m dying to just tell you everything-- *phone rings* Grace: Oh, Pierre, I’ll be right there. Lila: Oh, the hell with you!! ----------------------- Susan: *giggle* *giggle giggle* Nicolas: So what’s your favorite children’s television show? Susan: *giggle giggle* *gigglegigglegiggle* Nicolas: Really? Mine’s Lambchop’s Play Along. ----------------------- Margo: Bus is the only way for evil to travel. ----------------------- Jessica: *cry cry* *cry* *crycyrcry* Todd: It’s okay, Jess. Jessica’s Inner Monologue: I wonder if shattered females turn him on? ----------------------- Amy: I told you so. Lila: I hate stupid blonds. My mother’s a stupid blond, too. Amy: I still told you so. ----------------------- Ann: Hi. Nicolas: *bleeeeeeech* Ann: Eww. ----------------------- Billie’s Note: I don’t know you, but my friends think you’re awesome. Looking forward to being your roomie soon! Steven: Good. That’s taken care of. ----------------------- Jakki: He’s like a catholic school boy. Susan: *gigglegiigle* Ann: We had a great time. Nicolas and Ann: *kiss on national television* ----------------------- Beautiful Girl: Hi. I’m Billie. Steven: Score!!!! ----------------------- Margo: *takes old lady’s newspaper* Old Lady: Give that back. Oh, I have to use the bathroom. You can look at it. Margo: The girl in the newspaper looks just like me. Except blond. And she’s from California! Exactly where I want to go! Evil Voice: So you will kill her and take her place. Margo: How can I possibly get away with that? We have different fingerprints and dna, and-- Evil Voice: Do not question! The power of the Evil Voice compels you! Margo: Mmkay! *strangles old lady* |
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