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\\#127 Dance of Death;Jessica: Wow, Jonathan, you're really good at making out. Jonathan: Yeah, well, we can't do it anymore. Jessica: We'll just see about that. Jonathan: Seriously, we can't. You have to leave me alone, for your own good. Jessica: No. What Jessica wants, Jessica gets... ------------------------------------- Elizabeth: Mmmmm, Joey, you're so dreamy. Joey: I know, right? Todd: Liz, what the hell? Elizabeth: Oops! You weren't supposed to see that! Todd: Well, too bad, I'm not letting you explain. Go figure out if the latest dead girl is Jessica yourself. Elizabeth: Joey, can you take me to see if the dead girl is Jessica? Joey: Huh? Elizabeth: Just drive, you jerk! I'll explain in very vague terms on the way! Officer: Miss, you can't go back there. Elizabeth: Yes I can, I'm a Wakefield! Officer: Oh, by all means! Go ahead and violate police procedure, no problem. Elizabeth: It's not Jessica! Thank goodness! Who cares if someone was brutally murdered and drained of blood, as long as it's not Jessica! ----------------------------------- Enid: Mmmm, Jonathan, you're so hot. I barely even care that you still have Jessica's perfume and lipstick all over you, as long as you're making out with me now. Jonathan: I'm really only interested in your blood. Enid: What? Jonathan: Nothing. Enid: Even if Elizabeth won't pay attention to me, who cares? You do. Jonathan: Your veins are so hot... ----------------------------------- Elizabeth: Dammit Jess, how could you sneak out like that? Jessica: Sneak out? I was just going to get us ice cream, sister darling. Elizabeth: In a silk dress? You went to see Jonathan, didn't you? Jessica: What? Me, lie to you, my own twin? Elizabeth: You're right, sorry. Let's just watch movies. ------------------------------------ Mysterious Anonymous Stranger: Man, that was one tasty blonde-haired, blue-eyed high school junior. Of course, the one I really want is Jessica. I love her so much that I want to eat her. Makes sense, right? Gee, I wonder if the readers have figured out that I'm (a) a vampire, and ( Jonathan. ------------------------------------ Todd: You know, I thought my life had no meaning without Elizabeth. But after 2 days of driving around aimlessly and throwing a nerf ball at the wall, I've decided, to hell with that bitch! She's cheated on me enough! Screw being a nice guy, I'm a goth dude now! Elizabeth: Todd, can we talk? Todd: Talk to the hand, bitch! I'm a hot goth guy now. All the chicks will want me. You don't deserve me! ------------------------------------ Mr. Cooper: And so, due to the tragic murder of another student in the Sweet Valley area, we are implementing a 10pm curfew. Jessica: Blah blah blah, Chrome Dome is so boring! Lila: Seriously. Hey Jess, by the way, Enid totally has a hickey from Jonathan. Jessica: What?!?!? That slut! She's lying! Enid: No I'm not, see? Jessica: Well, this should make me hate Jonathan, for being a dirty cheater, but nope! I love him even more. Amy: By the way guys, this is my cousin Katrina. Jessica: Hey Katrina! Lila: I wonder if having a random character with the same features as Jessica show up will turn into its own plotline at some point in this book? ------------------------------------- Bruce: You know what we should do? Plan a party at Jonathan's house. Jonathan: No. Todd: Come on, be a pal! Jonathan: No. Ken: Too bad, we already invited everyone. Jonathan: Fine, but I'm not responsible for anything that happens. Bruce: Great! That's not cryptic at all! -------------------------------------- Elizabeth: Maria, I know Todd wants nothing to do with me, but somehow I still see him as an option. Do I pick him or Joey? Maria: Let's make a checklist, and you can pick the one with the best qualities. Elizabeth: Didn't Ross do that about Rachel on Friends, and it blew up in his face? Maria: Yeah, so? Elizabeth: Good point. Let's do it! Maria: Okay, looks like Joey it is. Elizabeth: Dammit! I mean, yay, I'll go call him. Joey: Like there was any doubt you'd pick me, Liz. Elizabeth: Seriously. I don't really like you very much, and you're sort of bossy and condescending, but I'll try to make it work. Joey: As long as I get to feel you up at Miller's Point, that's fine with me! --------------------------------------- Jonathan: This is about the time that, while talking to myself, I reveal once and for all that I'm a vampire. With that in mind, I think I'll call Enid... Enid: I'd love to come over! Shouldn't we talk before we make out more though? Jonathan: No. Enid: Okay! Jessica: Hi Jonathan, I brought you some soup since you said you were sick and - Enid, you whore! What is she doing here? I guess I'll just scald you with this soup. Jonathan: Enid, you should leave. Enid: But you have hot soup all over you. Jonathan: It's just a flesh wound. Leave. And be glad you did. Jessica just saved you, you know. Enid: Wow, you're so cryptic! I love you! Jonathan: Get out! ------------------------------------- Jessica: Hey Liz, have you seen my kitten? Elizabeth: No. Let's look for her. Jessica: Oh my gosh, Jasmine! Something drained all her blood, Liz! Elizabeth: Geez, that is happening a lot lately! Why is no one making the connections here? Jessica: I don't know, but we better bury her before mom gets home, and lie to her about what happened. Elizabeth: Great plan, Jess! -------------------------------------- Elizabeth: My whole life is falling apart. Todd hates me, Enid hates me, and I hate Joey, my new boyfriend. I think I'll "forget" to tell him about Jonathan's party. Maria: Good idea! This party kinda sucks anyway. This place is so gross, there's no furniture and we're the only ones not dressed all in black. Elizabeth: Oh no, Todd's dancing with Katrina Sutton. Maria: I knew she'd turn up again! Elizabeth: Oh no, the power's out and Jessica disappeared with Jonathan! Todd, help me find them! Todd: Fine, even though I hate you. Jonathan: Oh Jessica, you're so hot. I want your blood so badly but - Jessica: What did you say? Jonathan: Nothing. Let's just make out. Jessica: Okay. Amy: Oh my God! Katrina's dead! Her blood's been drained from her body! Elizabeth: This is getting REALLY old! |
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