\\#2 Love, Lies, and Jessica Wakefield;

Isabella: I'm beautiful. I'm gorgeous. Why don't you want me, Jess?

Jessica: Is your name Michael?

Isabella: Not at the moment, but I'd be willing to change it!

Jessica: It'll never work Izzy. I can't legally marry you and that'll ruin the whole storyline the editors have planned for the first six books!

Isabella: But Mike's just a bad boy character that'll be gone for good by the end of book 20! I have staying potential.

Jessica: That's not fair - he'll get it on with Liz later too! Besides he has a Corvette! A corvette!

Isabella: Anyone but Mike. How's about Steven?

Jessica: Eewwwwwww!

Elizabeth: My life sucks. I wish I was Jessica!

Alex: Wow, Liz's life sucks! I bet she wishes she was Jessica!

Tom: I'm working on a big story. This requires me to not eat and hide away during daylight hours - much like a vampire. *hides fangs in draw*

Danny: Want to come play tennis?

Tom: Is the sun still out?

Elizabeth: I miss Todd. Why can't Celine be more desirable? Then I could have a half decent storyline in this book!

Celine: I'm evil. If you didn't know this you will now! I just wanted to make sure you knew.

William: The author's think you won't realise I'm a nasty piece of work but even I know better than that! Why the hell couldn't I have been scarier! Even the coming back to life three times thing didn't cut it!

Elizabeth. I'm getting fat and they take away my boyfriend to land me with this creep! I told you I didn't get a decent storyline in this book!

Jessica: Liz you look like a sausage but I want you to wear this so I'll look hotter.

Winston: Leave me alone! Living with all these hot girls is too much! I'm exhausted!

Maia, Denise: Shut up and enjoy Egbert! We don't do this for every dorm buddy!

Alison: I'm evil too, just in case you were wondering.

Elizabeth: Maybe I should sleep with Todd ... maybe not ... maybe ... maybe not .... maybe

Alex: My life's perfect

Mark: Maybe you didn't get the rest of the plot in the post.

Elizabeth: Food, food, food, food

Tom: Liz you're hot. Work on me with a story. it's a good excuse to get you alone. Then maybe we can have wild sex.

Elizabeth: That's what you think.

Mike: Look I can look hot outside and inside a car.

Jessica: Oh let's just get it on here.

Mike: Hang on! We have to go on at least two dates first. The authors don't want you to look like a slut.

Jessica: But I am! Did they not read how many guys I dated in SVH? I even got Bruce Patman to take off my bikini top.

Alison: We're going to torture Liz

Jessica: Oh, great! Sound's fun. She's been pissing me off for the past two years. How can I help?

Nina: I'm here to be you're friend, Liz. I don't want you to look like a complete loser.

Isabella: Stop dating Mike, Jessica! I want you!

Mike: Just calling to save you from the pyscho roommate. Want to go out?

Jessica: Ok but only if we're going to get it on!

Winston: How amIi going to get all these guys away from Denise? Insect repellant?

William: I hate Todd. Maybe I should kill him!. On second thoughts better wait a few books yet.

Jessica: I'm on a motorbike! Na na na na na Ned and Alice. When did you get the bike, Mike?

Mike: I'm the resident bad boy of course I have a bike and a leather jacket as well.

Jessica: Why have you brought me here to an apartment complex? Does this mean we're going to get it on?

Mike: I explained about that!

Jessica: In that case I'm really pissed off, why have you brought me here?

Mike: I'm a bad boy I have to be seen to at least be trying!

Jessica: You have a hot apartment, all's forgiven!

Mike: Aren't you going to wonder how I can afford it?

Jessica: No, who cares?

Mike: But then I won't look like a bad boy! I wont have sex with you if you don't!

Jessica: Oh, ok, just stop complaining. I'll wonder.

Mike: Good, now ask me some questions so I can look enigimatic.

Celine: Note to self I haven't made Liz's life miserable for a few pages, must do so.

Jessica: What am I still doing here? Did we get it on?

Mike: Nah, you just fell alseep, you have to wait a few more pages yet.

Jessica: Bugger! How am I going to make Lila jealous? Did you at least try something?

Mike: I had a little fumble under your blouse while you were asleep. How else did you think the buttons got open?

Jessica: Well at least we got past Liz and Todd territory then. Guess I ought to go to school.

Mike: I'll take you there. That way I can have a fight with your brother.

Steven: I'm so lucky. I have a hot sister ... I mean a hot girlfriend. What the hell is she, my hot sister ... I mean my sister doing kissing that equally hot guy ... I mean loser over there? Mike fight me!

Mike: Why?

Steven: So I can look sexy in front of Jess!

Mike: I don't have time to fight you I'm saving my energy for banging your sister!

Billie: Who do you want to sleep with, Steven, me or Jessica?

Steven: Can I get back to you on that one?

Nina: Liz you must go talk to Todd so you can see him having just slept with his new girlfriend!

Mike: It's more convenient to park here. But I'll park over there, near the no parking signing to enhance my bad boy image.

Jessica: Darn you're hot. I'll blow off my all important class, which I had no intention of going to, to hang out with you. Also I need to pick my bikini so that I can try to get you to break the two date rule. Did I tell you about the time Bruce took off my bikini top? I wouldn't put it back on this time, I swear!

Elizabeth: Oh my god, Todd, you're in bed with your new girlfriend!

Todd: What did you expect me to do, Liz? I wasn't going to get any action of you was I?

Tom: I dream about Liz at night. I also dream about sucking her blood occassionally. Or it might be her getting attacked by a secret society. One or the other.

Isabella: Jessica take these condoms. If you went with me, we wouldn't need to bother! Oh well if you don't want me then I'll like Tom instead. That'll show you!

Elizabeth: Don't sleep with Mike, Jess!

Jessica: Why?

Elizabeth: Well everyone else is saying it! I didn't want to be left out!

Celine: William and I could do evil together. Why hadn't I thought of this before? I'm so slow sometimes!