\\The Betrayals Arc: The Real Folk Blues;

2:01 Love Conquers All? - Part 2

Bruce and Liz rush to Jessica’s side in the hospital, where they find her with a broken arm and two broken legs. She’s confined to a wheelchair for the time being. The Baboons come to visit and are worried by what they find. Bruce feels it is his fault because he was the one who upset her in the first place and feels obligated to taking care of her.

It is determined that the Jeep’s breaks were cut. No one questions who could’ve done it.

Upon Jessica’s return home Liz treats her very cruelly, going so far as to dump their dinner on her when she has no way to retaliate. Bruce, angry by the way she’s treating her sister, breaks up with her. Liz disappears for several days.

Bruce takes Jessica to the beach after she seems to be in better spirits. Lila and Ken, who have become rather close in the absence of Bruce and Jess, are also there. Liz appears with Winston at her side, and then informs everyone that they eloped and are now married. They are all shocked.

Bruce is upset and, on the rebound, goes out with Jessica to make Liz mad. It works. While using Jess, however, he falls in love with her.

2:02 Turn, Turn, Turn

Bruce and Jessica continue their relationship. Liz and Winston get their marriage annulled, and Winston proposes to Enid for the hell of it. Enid, utterly shocked, begins to act like a normal person, and leaves Ken alone, making him nervous.

2:03 DETENTION!

While Mr. Fellows is out of town to go to his current girlfriends sisters wedding Ken is chosen to be assistant principal for the week and gets a little power crazy.

2:04 Mrs. Patman?

After the chaos that was Ken’s reign of power dies down, a car drives through Sweet Valley, stopping at the Wakefield house to ask where Bruce Patman lived. Liz is the one who tells her, and the woman goes on her way.

Meanwhile, across town, Todd is walking down Country Club Dr. and sees a pretty girl sitting on the corner looking kind of lost. He asks if he can help and she introduces herself as Suzi. She tells him she is looking for her brother. Todd offers his help, and the two spend the day together and…fall in love.

At the end of their magical day they run into Bruce. Bruce freezes. Suzi stops, smiles, and yells "Bruce!", running to embrace him. Bruce is horrified as he’s flooded with memories of childhood nightmares.

Todd is shocked as Suzi introduces him to her brother, and informs him that they hadn’t seen each other in eleven years.

Bruce, unnerved, rushes away from them and to his home, where he finds the mystery woman from earlier waiting for him and learn that she’s his mother.

Portions of Bruce’s early childhood are revealed and we learn that he was physically and mentally abused and tortured by Suzi when they were children.

Todd decides he doesn’t care that Suzi’s Bruce’s sister, and continues to go out with her (probably for the sex).

2:05 Relationship Unintentional

Mr. Fellows takes the two classes on a camping trip. Steven is coerced into going by his sisters, and brings Adina along since he is babysitting her. They make camp by the Falls.

Adina is an annoying brat who has taken to Steve and follows him everywhere. She annoys everyone. Jessica (who’s legs and arm have healed) and Bruce are sharing a tent and Liz plays stupid tricks on them. Todd and Suzi sneak off and have sex in the Cave.

The Baboons venture there later on in their weekend and find a pink thing laying on the ground. Bruce recognizes it as Suzi’s underwear. In memoriam of Todd and Suzi having sex there, Ken hangs it on the wall so they all will know what transpired there for years to come.

Later, when they return, Livvie, touched by Steve’s "love" of her daughter, marries him.

2:06 Ask Winston

Lila and Ken are sitting at the beach. Ken sees Enid walk by, and scared, makes a run for it. While Lila’s sitting alone, a boy with dark brown hair walks over and begins to talk to her. He introduces himself as Ryan. They spend the day together, Lila finding herself liking him very much.

In the Egbert household we see Winston in his room (which is not a chicken coop). In walks Ryan. It’s made apparent that they’re cousins and Ryan tells Winston that he met a wonderful girl at the beach that he really likes and wants Winston to help him act cool to impress her (hahaha!).

Winston, in a cousinly mood, agrees and gives him some tips. Ryan takes his advice to heart and things go smoothly with Lila. The two begin to date and fall in love.

The day comes when Ryan brings Winston to meet the love of his life. Lila is more than a little surprised they’re related and Winston is upset that the girl he loves is going out with his stupid cousin. And that he helped get them together.

2:07 The Magic Kingdom

Liz shows up with a man on her arm named Adi Silverman and they’re going to get married. Their schooling is coming to an end at Sweet Valley High, and Mr. Collins and Mr. Fellows bring the kids on one last field trip. Suzi, Gabrielle and Winnie, and Chuck and Jason join them.

Through coincidence, Bruce and Jessica and Chuck and Jason run into each other at every attraction. This causes Bruce and Jess to believe Chuck and Jason are following them and vice versa. Gabrielle makes mischief with the chicken.

2:08 The First Spawning

Several weeks later Liz and Jessica both discover that they’re pregnant. Liz marries Adi, and Jessica marries Bruce.

Then Suzi finds out she is, as well. The first time she went to the doctor she found out she was having one, the second time two, and so on until they found out she was having quintuplets.

The doctor they see is an Slavakian named Dr. Kavarkian who determines the sex of the child by mixing the mother’s blood with pickle juice. Amazing, he’s always right.

Bruce’s mother throws him out and he and Jessica move into an apartment building called Hell’s Bucket, which has two floors. No one knows who lives on the first floor. Not all the apartments have front facing windows and the ones that do have dark curtains drawn. Bruce and Jess move into 2C. Suzi buys 2A and 2B and combines them into one to make room for their quints.

The Nice Old Lady, a crazy old woman who mistakes people’s children for her missing grandchildren, lives in 2D. A band of paranoid crooks live in 2E. A family of devout Christians live in 2F. And a movie star whom no one ever sees lives in 2G. Steven and Livvie live in the Wakefield house along with Liz and Adi.

Liz and Adi have a boy named Daniel. Jessica and Bruce have a girl named Jennifer. Todd and Suzi have four boys and a girl whom Suzi insists on naming after people; Bruce after her brother, Jimmy after Todd’s brother, Henry after her father, Alawashisous after Todd’s middle name, and Morgan after her mother. The babies get along well.

Liz decides she doesn’t want her child growing up in Sweet Valley and her, Adi, and Danny move elsewhere.

2:09 The Bunny and the Rock

Lila and Ryan are married. Ken and Winston are both very depressed by this. Abby and Jeff, in an effort to "cheer Ken up" and to get Enid out of the Rollins house, holds Ken up at gunpoint (with a shotgun) and makes him marry Enid.

Winston takes his depression to the Bar. In his sullen state he accidentally walks into the Gay Bar, which is right next door. He is sitting at the bar, lonely and dejected, when a beautiful waitress with long blond hair and bright green eyes comes over to serve him. She keeps bringing him drinks.

The next morning he wakes up to find himself naked in an unfamiliar bed, with the blond waitress lying on her side smiling at him. She seems disappointed by his lack of a bad reaction and offers to make him an omelet.

He introduces himself as Winston and she says her name’s Alissa (pronounced Uh-lee-suh, her parents were stupid). They eat, making conversation. They get along quite well. She informs him that they didn’t do anything the night before and that she does that all the time. She takes drunk gay men back home with her in order to see their reaction when they wake up. He finds her interesting. They start going out. It leads to marriage.

Winston has no one in particular he’d like to invite, but Alissa wants to invite her cousin. They have a small wedding and Winston finds out her cousin is Ken and that her last name is Kavarki. Ken and Alissa get along very well.

Winston then discovers that Alissa has a multitude of quirks. In particular, she has a pet rock named Mr. Rock whom she genuinely seems to believe talks to her. Whenever he does something to anger her she hits him upside the head with the rock saying "Mr. Rock doesn’t like you." Her nickname for him is Honey Bunny. Their relationship is a rocky road.

2:10 The Second Spawning

Liz and Adi return to Sweet Valley bringing with them Liz’s friend Marita, whom she met recently, along with Marita’s daughter Ashley who is a couple years older than Danny. They move back into the Wakefield house. Steve and Livvie have broken up.

Then the second wave of children begin. Liz and Adi have a son, Milton. Jessica and Bruce have a daughter, Becky. Todd and Suzi have a son, Jason (named after Todd’s brother). Ken and Enid have twins, a boy named Mambo and a girl named Gidget. Lila and Ryan have a girl, Amy. And Winston and Alissa have a boy, Michael.

Liz and Jessica’s Aunt Nancy comes for a visit. She very much disapproves of her nieces and nephew but takes a liking to Milton. She also has a fondness for Bruce, and often sends him money.

2:11 Un-Ever After

Several years later Liz and Adi get divorced. Liz goes on a slutty rampage. Aunt Nancy, appalled by her behavior, takes Milton to come live with her.

Suzi becomes pregnant once more with triplets. While her and Todd are discussing names she overhears a Budwieser commercial starring the frogs and decides the perfect names for her children would be Bud, Wise, and Er. Then she decides to make a cast of his penis out of chocolate. Todd has had enough. He decides to take a vacation to his childhood home of New York City.

Jessica has become a wedding planner by day, and whatever the need arises by night. She and Bruce argue a lot, neglecting their daughters. Jessica also works for Alison.

2:12 Into the Outback

The Mathews Clan holds their annual family reunion in Australia. This year Ken and Alissa decide to go, Alissa brining Winston. The entire family is insane, both the Kavarki’s and the Mathews. We meet her older brother Abraham, a hippy who calls himself Ham, his girlfriend Cheese (Chessi) and Cheese’s idiot cousins Ketchup and Mustard (Karyn and Myrtle). Ham treats Alissa warily. In a conversation they make mention of Rosalyn.

While they’re there, there is filming for a new movie entitled "The Sacred Condom." One of the casting directors sees Winston and schedules him on sight for the role of Lance, the hero, and New York socialite, Delilah Watson, is cast as Lance’s love interest, Lila. Winston finds it terribly ironic he’s playing a guy who’s in a love with a girl named Lila. Alissa gets jealous.

"The Sacred Condom," in short, is about a bunch of super-intelligent condoms who come to conquer earth. They enlist an Earthling named Lila to help them. She eventually betrays them to help Lance, due to her love for him. Together, they defeat the evil condoms. All of them are destroyed and the movie ends with Lance and Lila kissing.

Alissa seethes as the movie ends and beats Winston with Mr. Rock and goes off by herself. They return home.

2:13 Explorations of the Past - Part One

Todd goes to New York, meeting new friends and revisiting old memories. He visits Delilah Watson, his first girlfriend whom he lost his "virginity" to. She’s more than happy to see him.

Meanwhile, in Sweet Valley, Lila receives a letter from an old friend of hers, Aryssa LaFaye, who she grew up with in L.A. Aryssa informs her they’re going to have a reunion of all their old friends. Bruce receives a similar letter. They both decide to attend, Ken accompanying Lila instead of Ryan. (I’m guessing they had a fight?)

Bruce and Lila return to L.A. and their pasts are explored. We find out Bruce had been a little Mama’s boy until he’d started going out with Lila in Kindergarten, when she’d dumped him, having only pretended to like him, humiliating him and scarring him for life. Bruce became a bully afterward and was held back a year. He was an outcast because he was so mean, having only one friend, Gina, who in the present timeline seems to hate him.

We learn that later on he made friends with the older boys, who told him for him to be initiated into their "gang" he would have to take Gina to the dance and pull down her skirt in front of everyone. He does so, humiliating Gina and losing her friendship.

He makes peace with Gina at the reunion and Lila’s just as bitchy and demanding as ever. They return home where Bruce and Lila find letters from Delilah Watson in New York waiting for them. We find out that they both spent time in New York prior to moving to SV.

2:14 Explorations of the Past - Part Two

Bruce and Lila decide "Why not?" and head to New York, bringing Ken with them. In NY, we find out that Bruce had dated Delilah and Lila had dated Todd. Todd’s past in a "gang" comes out as well.

We learn that Lila had been there twice before. The first time was when she met and dated Todd, but caught him with Delilah. The second time was when Bruce moved out there as well. Their father’s had business with Delilah’s father. They did dares from Todd’s gang, mostly walking on the railings across bridges.

After meeting Delilah again, Bruce decides to return home.

2:15 Firestarter

After he leaves, Lila, Todd, Ken, and Delilah are talking and Ken admits he’s from a small town where Texas and Arkansas meet called Texarcana. They think it would be fun to visit Ken’s hometown, and though Ken is vehemently against the idea, he is dragged along anyway.

They arrive in Texarcana. Two idiots named Billy Bob and Blow Joe recognize Ken and are happy, apprehensive but still happy, to see him and welcome them all the stay in Billy Bob’s big house. Blow Joe is married to Tank Rae, who loves Blow Joe dearly and beats him up for cheating on her all the time. Billy Bob is married to Lolita who is a whore that is pretty much only interested in Billy Bob for his money. Blow Joe and Tank Rae live in a trailer park. Blow Joe is the better looking of the two.

They hang out catching up and the boys mention Betty Ann Monroe. Ken doesn’t want to talk about her. They mention Betty Ann’s having a party and they drag Ken there. The other three tag along interested.

There at the party Ken’s past is revealed. They learn that Ken was a very strange uber-serious child who was in love with Betty Ann. She was very cruel to him and to retaliate after much mocking and abuse was to block all the gym doors at a basketball game and set it on fire, killing three people. Ken talks to, but doesn’t quite make peace with Betty Ann. People then recognize him and Ken and his friends are chased out of town.

Ken, Lila, and Todd, along with Delilah, return to SV. Suzi has had the triplets. While Bud and Wise are seemingly normal, Er is Odd. Later on he will be shunned by everyone, including his brothers.

2:16 Taking Up the Past

Upon return from Australia, Winston takes a detour to Florida and Alissa returns to Dogsquat. She occupies herself by cleaning. While going through the hall closet. She’s going through some of Winston’s belongings and discovers a diary belonging to Walter Fisher, describing some pretty disturbing events. Alissa is shocked by this for two reasons. The diary mentions certain events in Pensacola, Florida, which curiously enough, was where Winston had gone. Alissa decides to do some sleuthing and goes after him.

She discovers that he is indeed Walter Fisher and that he’s in a drug cartel, one of the biggest in the country, that is run by his father. We explore Winston’s past. He is the son of Winston Fisher, a large drug lord, and his gang is predominantly made up of people of Rollins lineage. We learn that his father was arrested when he was seven and he was sent to live with his father’s sister, Sara, who cut and died his hair and made him wear glasses and sweater vests, renaming him Winsotn after her brother. Walter originally had blond hair.

While in Florida she is cornered in a parking lot by a man named Helter, who we find out is her first husband. He asks her about her assignment, making clear that he knows what she’s up to. She plays dumb, luring him close enough to her to kill him. This is witnessed by Rosalyn.

She later finds Winston and confronts him about his past. He owns up to it and she says she doesn’t mind. They return home together, Alissa keeping silent about killing Helter.

After their return Alissa receives a phone call from the Romanian exchange program she had sent Michael to. He’s a bad child and they’re sending him home. Alissa is both excited and apprehensive.

2:17 Double Trouble

Rosalyn Kavarki tracks down her twin to SV. She knows she killed Helter and also blames her sister for ruining her life. Rosalyn tries to impersonate as Alissa to mess with Winston.

Meanwhile Winston’s cousin Bryan shows up. Bryan looks almost exactly like Winston at this point. He tries to impersonate Winston to mess with Alissa. Bryan’s and Rosalyn’s eyes meet down the hallway in the apartment building and it’s love at first sight. Winston and Alissa think they’re both freaks.

2:18 The Nice Old Lady and Other Adventures

Winston and Alissa live in an apartment building called Dogsquat Apartments, which is next to Dogsquat High School. On the second floor lives a beautiful witch with knee-length red hair who goes by the name Samantha that Alissa often goes to for advice. It is made clear that Samantha and Alissa have known each other for quite some time.

Michael returns home and causes chaos. He also gives people nicknames. He calls Jason Wilkins Toenails after he walks in on him sucking Rachel Manoke’s toes (this was after Jason and Chuck broke up. He was with Rachel for a bit). He calls Rachel Legs.

There are also many adventures with the Nice Old Lady who mistakes him for her grandson, Nitro. She also mistakes Al Wilkins for her grandson Edward. Edward and Nitro were her favorites, and she is fond of beating them and screaming that she will "Beat their bare butt over her bare knee!" Michael also has a particularly scary encounter with Nitro’s dad who also mistakes him for Nitro and locks him in a hotel room.

In the end he and Alissa come to an understanding after she convinces him she sent him to Romania because of finances; they couldn’t afford him.

Then he asks that since it was an exchange program, they should’ve gotten a kid to take care of, and asks what happened to that kid. She tells him he lives in the basement and takes him to see him. He is an ugly skinny thing that thinks he’s a rat named Uder. He likes to bite people’s butts. Michael will later use this to punish people he doesn’t like. Alissa adores her son.

2:19 Mating Rituals

The eight people get together for a wild week long getaway at the cabin. For some reason, Delilah accompanies them. They enjoy many games of Dream Date, and lots and lots of liquor. All in all, everyone has a good drunken time.

Afterwards however, Jessica and Liz both find themselves pregnant. Liz wants a girl and Jessica wants a boy. Suzi is pregnant as well (Todd had gone to stay with her upon his return to SV).

Enid got pregnant as well by Todd, with triplets. Boys she names Ken, Kenny, and Kenneth.

When the children are born all are boys. Suzi and Todd have James. Liz (with Todd) has Lil Todd. Jessica has fraternal twins. Through paternity tests it’s determined that one is Todd’s and one is Bruce’s. She puts the one that is Todd’s up for adoption and names Bruce’s son Tony.

Later, Samantha has sex with Todd on a whim. She winds up pregnant and blames the baby on him, which is a girl named Valerie that she never lets Todd see. She also doesn’t allow Valerie to call her Mother.

2:20 Ten Years After

Ten years later.

Tony, James, and Lil Todd are the best of friends along with a fourth boy named Hamilton. Tony and James get along very well in particular. They make mischief in school. Tony is horribly neglected by his parents and sister Becky. Jenny still lives at home but she’s never there. Tony often goes over to Lil Todd’s house to eat.

Jimmy tells Amy that he loves her and she, confused by the difference between like and love just says "That’s nice." and continues on. Jimmy eventually gives up on her. Jenny works for Alison with her mother. Becky’s a whore and rarely goes to school. She’s been held back a few years and is still in eighth grade at the age of sixteen. (Not that that is uncommon for Hell Jr. High).

Bruce and Morgan both play tennis and hate each other. Al’s the normal one. Henry and Jason have disappeared. Bud and Wise shun Er, who enjoys dressing up in women’s underwear.

Danny and Ashley are "in love." They hold hands and nothing else. Later on, Ashley realizes she’s a lesbian and Danny has a sex change to try to please her. It doesn’t. They eventually break up and Ashley becomes a prostitute. Danny disappears with "Mr. Penguin," a little plastic toy penguin with a pink collar. Who knows what happened to him. Who wants to know.

Mambo is ostracized by everyone including his sister Gidget, who’s an opportunistic bitch that loves money more than anything.

Abigail and Jeff work at the Patman Hotel; Abby as the receptionist and Jeff as the bellboy. She always carries a shotgun with her.

Gabrielle moved in with her sister Rachel in a house on Country Club drive. Winnie Hen and her husband Reggie Rooster live with them.

Michael attends Salvation high located in the town of Salvation. He is assigned to pretty and quiet Virginia Erikson to show him around, (I believe he attended Dogsquat High first but got into some trouble and had to switch schools). Salvation High has many quirks, like playing the school song, "Salvation" by the Cranberries, at random intervals during the day. Virginia has a twin, Georgia, who likes to play pranks on Michael. Michael and Virginia fall in love.

2:21 The New Wilkins

Liz and Bruce have a fling and Liz gets pregnant as a result. Bruce knows Jessica will hurt him and asks Liz not to tell anyone it’s his. She agrees and informs everyone it’s Todd’s even though he doesn’t remember having sex with her. She tells him he was drunk. Todd has left Suzi at this point. He tore down several houses on Country Club Dr. and built a small mansion between Winston’s parents and Lila and Ryan’s houses. Most of their children besides Er live with him.

Liz hopes for a girl but gives birth to a three month premature little boy she names Bruce. Everyone calls him Lil Bruce. Lil Todd hates him from the beginning. Liz spoils Bruce immensely, turning him into a little brat, causing Todd to hate him even more. Bruce does mean things to his big brother, but if Todd retaliates, he gets in trouble. Lil Bruce makes up lots of stories involving characters named the Ass, the Fuck, and the Sunflower. The Ass was Milton, the Fuck was Danny, and the Sunflower was Todd.

2:22 Moving Down the Street

Jessica and Bruce get divorced soon after Lil Bruce’s birth. She isn’t fooled for a moment that he isn’t Bruce’s son. She’s surprised Liz had managed to keep it a secret from her for that long. She kicks Bruce out of the apartment. He goes back to the mansion. Later, she meets a guy named Ronnie Robertson. Ronnie is sweet and nice and has no backbone and is everything Jessica ever wanted in a man, but he has a very annoying daughter named Patti who’s taken a liking to Tony, but is very mean to him.

Jessica and Ronnie get married, she moving in with him across the street from Liz’s and Becky and Tony move back in with Bruce. Jenny’s on her own at this point. They try to have a baby but find out Jessica can’t have any more kids. Tony meets a girl who lives next to his father’s mansion, Amber Sutton, who has a bitchy fraternal twin named Amy.

2:23 Lil Bruce Has His Way

Liz wants to get married to Winston when Lil Bruce is two. (Did he and Alissa break up? Because I’m sure it was him) Lil Bruce doesn’t like him in the least, neither does Lil Todd. For the first time Liz doesn’t give into Lil Bruce and he doesn’t like it at all. He and Todd work together to ruin the wedding. They place bugs in the bouquet and Bruce holds a shotgun he found in the garage on Winston. The wedding is called off and Lil Bruce is happy again.

Since Lil Bruce was born very premature, he’s extremely small for his age and very susceptible to illness. Todd sometimes feels guilty for it. The doctor Bruce always sees is man named Justin, and is probably the most trusted person in Sweet Valley, even moreso than Alison.

2:24 The One Ring

Several years later, Tony, Todd, James, and Hamilton end up being in high school with Becky even though she’s six years older than them. Again, not an uncommon occurrence at Hell High. Tony torments his sister and has a brief relationship with the girl next door, Amber Sutton.

Becky sleeps with some random guy and winds up being entered in a beauty pageant in Florida. She also signs her father, Ken, Todd, and Winston up to be judges. They go to Ft. Lauderdale. Becky sleeps with most of the judges and wins. The guys have a good ole time. While the guys are there, one of them loses their wedding ring and there is an interesting plight to get it back. Or replace it.

2:25 The Cabin

The eight people are gathered together at the cabin in the woods once again. They have a good time during the day, then at night they are shown to their separate bedrooms. Jessica wakes up in the night having heard something.

She sneaks out of her room to investigate and overhears a conversation between four people, Dick, Cliff, Melinda, and someone named Walter Fisher.

Unfortunately, they catch her before she can run off and she is brought to the basement where she sees Enid, Ken, Lila, Liz, and Bruce already gagged and bound to chairs. They do the same to her, binding her to the one remaining chair. Before they gag her she demands to know who’s responsible.

And in walk Winston and Todd.

2:26 The Unraveling

Todd acts like a giddy school girl because he finally gets to have his revenge for all the times the others were mean to him. Winston is calm and more than slightly psychodic. He tells them that he is going to kill them all. When they ask why, he gives no solid answer.

As is standard, Winston must recap his entire master plan before he kills them. He tells them how annoying it was to him that none of them would die. He'd been trying to kill them since he was twelve, but each time either a random Sweet Vallian got in to way, or his plan just flatout failed. This little thing in the cabin was to ensure that none of them could get away. (I think this is where he admits to cutting Jessica's brake lines...)

Everyone is freaking out, of course. Melinda seems to find the entire situation very funny, and keeps giggling. Winston argues with the gang people quite a bit over things that don't make sense to anyone. Then he pulls out his precious gun.

Todd suddenly realizes that Winston is serious. Sure, he was up for revenge, but now that it was getting serious, he was having his doubts.

Enid starts screaming and she won't shut up,. Winston shoots her. Everyone else gets really quiet except for Melinda, who giggles even more.

Winston and Todd argue. Winston says something cryptic like, "Fuck the order," and points his gun at Todd because he's sick of listening to him whine. Just as he's about to kill Todd, the door bursts open and in floods Alison and her police squad. It turns out Mr. Fellows, who lives a short way away, heard the gun shot and called Alison.

Winston gets arrested and is led away by a very confused Alison. Todd is scared and he begs for everyone's forgiveness, and the creepy, end-of-season music starts to swell as the camera zooms in on Enid, her face spattered in blood, her eyes still wide with terror.

The Betrayals Arc
The Real Folk Blues

END