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\\#111 A Deadly Summe;
Janitor Two: Hi. Janitor Two: Book 111, A Deadly Christmas. Jessica figures out what we knew from 109, then she goes into denial, giggles about sex, and buys "naughty" underwear. Sue comes clean about the plot, Jess freaks, tucks the "naughty" underwear into her drawer for use with Ken, and packs her bags to help Nancy Drew--I mean, Liz, catch the bad guy, Jeremy, whose part is taken over by his twin who can't act, gets screwed, but not literally. Janitor One: Remember that Nancy Drew book i have that has Nancy on the cover looking like Tonya? Janitor Two: Hehe yeah. So, plot thoughts......... Janitor One: Well, we knew what was coming, and it wasn't as well executed as I would've liked. Jeremy finally succumbed to getting cocky and giving the jig up. Janitor Two: He was totally out of character. But we're talking plot, not character yet, so I won't rag about him too much at the moment. Plot wise, it was pure SV BS. Evil psychos, cabins in the woods (c), snow storms (in southern California, no less)..... Janitor One: Yes, SV at it's most clichéd. Janitor Two: And we can't forget the happy ending. ^_^ Janitor One: I wish I could... Janitor Two: It was too contrived, too jerky, and poorly written in the extreme. Janitor One: Maybe it was a different writer. Janitor One: It didn't seem like they knew where they were going with it. Janitor Two I agree. Also, some of Jessica's old catch phrases popped back up. Liz slipped back into her stupid(er) self, and Todd went back to being a cardboard cutout. Definitely a different writer. Janitor One: *sigh* Janitor Two: I will say it didn't put me to sleep. Now let's get to some of the specific plot strings. Janitor One: I thought it was funny they brought up sex. Even though no one actually said the nasty word. Janitor Two: Did you start laughing when Lila (I think) asked, "Do you think Steven and Billie do it?" Janitor One: Oh yeah. They're sixteen going on about it like they're thirteen. Janitor Two: And something about Jessica planning to buy condoms...that paragraph sounded like a PSA. There were a lot of things floating around that just made me shake my head. The under-aged drinking, the whole idea of Jess having sex with Jeremy was just yuck on many levels, and then to have her get worried about STD's..... Janitor One: Heheh Janitor Two: I bet the editor made them put in the condom line just to keep it a little safer. Janitor One: Probably. Janitor Two: Umm, other plot strings........I don't think there are any besides that that I wanted to address specifically. You? Janitor One: Not particularly. Janitor Two: K. Characters. Liz, Jess, Lila, Robby, Jeremy, Sue, the Wakefield elders, and...that's it. Janitor One: Let's save Jess for last. Janitor Two : K. So, Liz. Janitor One: Liz was typical Nancy Drew here. She wants to get the dirt on Jermz. Janitor Two: Yeah. She's the journalist. I don't know. I can't think of any reason to hate her, but I just didn't like her. I couldn't say why. Janitor One: I liked the little confrontation with Jeremy in the kitchen. Janitor Two: Yeah, that was good. Janitor One: She's the only one who completely sees through him and he knows it. Janitor Two: As Connor would say, Barbie's got a brain. Janitor One: For when it comes to anything besides her own twisted love life. Janitor Two: Yeah Liz over? Janitor One: Yeah. Janitor Two: Lila. Janitor One: Lila went a bit overboard with the art show thing. Janitor Two: Let me reenact for the home audience: Jess: "Lila, let me buy sex clothes with your father's credit card!" Lila: "Ok, but you have to pay me interest." Janitor Two: ........ Janitor One: Hehehehehheeheh What a wonderful best friend to have. Janitor Two: Yeah. Janitor One: I'd take her over Jess any day. Janitor Two: Wonder what ol' George thought when he got the statement... Janitor One: George: "Lila!!!!!!!!" Janitor Two: Lila: "Sorry Daddy, but I made you a ten percent profit by offering Jess inflated interest rates." Janitor One: Hehe. …I almost expected Lila to try to talk her out of it though. To be a voice of reason when it came to that. Janitor Two: I did too. I thought she'd at least be skeptical. Nope. Instead she starts asking Jess to pose nude for her painting... Janitor One: Lila was out of character. Janitor Two: Very. She was borderline insane. Janitor One: The paint fumes when to her head. Janitor Two: Yeah. I think Robby should have tossed her in the dumpster at the art show... Janitor One: Yeah. I know that would've pissed me off. Hmm....maybe that's why we never hear from him again... Janitor Two: Yeah. He struck it rich, ditched Lila, and now he's off on the white beaches of some tropical island while Jeremy tries to seduce his new-found fortune away from him. Janitor One: Hehe. That would be a sight. Janitor Two: Really. Jeremy: "Hey, cutie."
Janitor Two: Hehe Janitor One: Hehe Janitor Two: So, on to Robby. He's so understanding. Janitor One: Yeah, he is. I love him. I still think he and Lila are perfect together. Janitor Two: Yeah. Too bad he fell into the abyss of SV plot holes. Janitor One: Yeah, really. We should write a Lila-Robby reunion. ^_^ Janitor Two: Hehehe. Yeah. For his spotlight month. Janitor One: Yep. So moving on… Janitor Two: Umm, the Wakefield elders. Oh, there was something I wanted to point on in 110, but I forgot. Can I say it now? Janitor One: Yeah. Janitor Two: Sam had supposedly never been to the Wakefield's house before, and yet she not only knew that Ned had study, but she knew right where it was...... Pg 92. Janitor One: Ole Ned's been foolin’ around, methinks ^_- Janitor Two: Hehe …So, yeah, back to 111. Janitor One: I liked the little "heart-to-heart" between Alice and Jess. Janitor Two: Alice was ridiculous. I could so understand where the twins got their intelligence after reading this book. Janitor One: Yeah. The parental units aren't much of them, are they? Janitor Two: Nope. Janitor One: But, like I said, I did like the little heart-to-heart between her and Jess. You got to see them being "close" as supposedly they are. Janitor Two: Yeah. It was sort of nice to see. K. Passed them.........Sue. Janitor One: Oh God! She realized Jeremy had betrayed her. But a couple kisses and whispered sweet nothings in her ears and she's all over him again! Janitor Two: Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but wasn't she relieved when Jeremy didn't show up to get her? What was with that anxiety in the first chapter? Janitor One: Different writer. Janitor Two: There weren't even kisses! It started with the opening of the book! Stupid people. Janitor One: I know. Janitor Two: That annoyed me a lot. Janitor One: Yeah. I expected her to play along until she figured out what he was really planning. Not what she did. Janitor Two: Yeah. I did not like her. It's been a love-hate relationship with Sue from the beginning, and it ended on hate. Janitor One: But I did like her determination to get Jeremy. That was perhaps a last saving grace for her character. Janitor Two: ............ Janitor One: For me, anyways. Janitor Two: Eh… To Jeremy. Janitor One: Jeremy bought some cocaine with his fake money and that's when his personality disorder set in. Janitor Two: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of character. He was too reckless. Sure, play him as arrogant, but not careless. Someone as experienced at conning people would not have risked his whole plan just to get laid by a sixteen year old cheerleader chick he planned on dumping at the airport baggage claim in Singapore. Janitor One: Yeah. And I also found it ridiculous that Liz came to the assumption that he was a con artist based on the fact that there was only one article with him in it in their little computer thing. If you looked me up on one of those things the only thing you'd find about me is a mention in my father's obituary. Janitor Two: Yeah, Liz being so determined that he wasn't who he said he was just because he'd only had two mentions in the paper.... Granted, he was supposedly pretty famous for his project nature work, so he should have popped up more... Janitor One: Oh, that also distorted what was already proven in the story that he and Sue had written a series of articles together. Janitor Two: Yeppers. Janitor One: Continuity, oh where were you? Janitor Two: Hehe …Right there with Robby's missing birthdays. Janitor One: Hehehe …Plot holes... Janitor Two: So, to Jessica. Jessica, Jessica, Jessica.... I'll let you talk first. Janitor One: This is Jessica at her worst. Oh, the sex issue. Sex is a big thing. And it must be a big thing to her because she's never come that close to doing it before, so she must "love" Jeremy. But as soon-the day after-she finds out he's a con artist she's getting blushy about Ken!!!! WTF???? Janitor Two: Hehe …But Ken's hot. And he gave her a flower without thorns on it. That's sexy right there. That'd get me in bed. Janitor One: I'll tell #@$!& that. Janitor Two: .......................................................................... Janitor One: And I must repeat that Ken was pretty bold for asking Jessica out when she's engaged. Janitor Two: But they make it clear that Lila and Amy were passing around that the engagement was breaking up. Janitor One: It's one thing to be a friend and a shoulder to cry on, but quite another to outright "Jess, you wanna go to the dance with me?" …I don't care. Janitor Two: He's a guy. Guy's are insensitive. Except Jeffrey. But he's not really a guy, so he doesn't count. Janitor One: Whatever. Janitor Two: It was out of ken's character though. Janitor One: I will say I did like how she finally came off cloud nine to look around at her surroundings at her "simple" classmates and their "simple" lives. Janitor Two: Yeah. That was a good scene. Janitor One: I expected her to freak out more about how she could fall so hard for Jeremy when he was just using her and to think about that. Instead of just "Oh, since he's using me, I don't like him anymore." Maybe make her a little paranoid. I don't know, I just wanted more. Janitor Two: She's use to be using used. Bruce broke her in. It's common place by now. Janitor One: Yeah, I suppose. But it's typical stupid spoiled single-minded Jessica. Janitor Two: Jessica is a very flat character in this one. Janitor Two: So, best and worst. Janitor One: Hmm...tough one... Best: Jeremy taunting Liz in the kitchen. Worst: Sue's desperation to think Jeremy's still hers. Janitor Two: Best: the picture on the stepback. Worst: Jessica, half-dead from smoke inhalation and traumatized by nearly being raped by psycho then left for dead in a Christmas tree fire in a secluded cabin in the woods (c) in a snow storm (!?), bouncing right out of the hospital bed to go jump Ken while wearing her "naughty" underwear. Janitor One: Oh, did I mention how I loved the scene where Sue's in the dressing room, trying on "naughty" underwear and overhears Jess and Lila. Janitor Two: Yeah. It is the only "naughty" underwear store in Sweet Valley, after all. Janitor One: Of course there's only one. There aren't that many, you know, "naughty" people who do IT. Janitor Two: That's the name of it, too. The "Naughty" Underwear Store. (c) Alison Mathews. Al rights reserved. Janitor One: Heehawed …I bet she has one too. Janitor Two: Hehehehehehehehhe… Janitor One: In the back section of Alison's Store. Right next to the Tomagatchi's. Janitor Two: Hehehehehe …So, final ratings? Janitor One: Three out of five Bruce heads. Jeremy had so much more potential! Janitor Two: I’ll say two and half Todd butts. In exchange rate, that's about half a head. Janitor One: That's worse than you gave Brokenhearted. And this was in no way as bad as Brokenhearted! Janitor Two: ............................Yeah. Maybe I'm being stingy. I'm trying to take out my dislike for the series as a whole on this one book. Janitor One: 107 was funny. You gotta admit that. Janitor Two: Two heads for this book and two and a half butts for the series. There. Janitor One: Ok ^_^ Me satisfied now. Janitor Two: ^_^ Janitor One: I kind of missed Liz's inner warrior as the series progress, though. Janitor Two: Yeah. She should have whipped out her self help book and started beating Jeremy with it in the kitchen. Use that warrior cry, Runs-Like-the-Wind, or whatever she was. Janitor One: That would've scared him away. ^_^ Janitor Two: Hehehehe Janitor Two: Just imagine Liz standing there, swelling with barely suppressed rage. The neon light over the stove flickers. Jeremy takes a small step back, then Liz let's out a blood curdling Indian war cry. Jeremy would be cringing on the floor. Janitor One: Heheheh ..I can see it so clearly! Ok, so next up, -- pick a book, Shadow! … A.K.A. Janitor Two.. Janitor Two: Next book, next book............. Perfect Summer!!!!!!!!!!!! Janitor One: Oh, goody goody gumdrops!!!! Find out what happens when a bunch of teenagers get together and take a bike tour! One thing at a time.....but yeah, probably.... Janitor Two: And one of them's fat and one's a druggie. Ten cents to the first to figure out which ones which. ^_^ Perfect Summer followed by the cheerleader series, then Margo. K? Janitor One: Margo, Margo!!! *jumps up and down* Cheerleaders first is fine. I like the cheerleaders ^_^ |
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