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\\Perfect Summer;Janitor One: OK, in Perfect Summer, we follow the golden twins and their peanuts-for-brains classmates on a bike tour up the coast led by Mr. Collins and Ms. Dalton. Throw in the fat nephew of Chrome Dome, Barry, a spoiled bitch named Courtney, secret identities, bad boy byciclists, a forest fire, and Bruce being mean and we've got a book. Janitor Two: Plot? :*snickers* Janitor One: Plot? What's that? Whatever it is it's not in this book.. Nor good character development. Janitor Two: Perfect Summer was a big plot ogry. There was no single plot through out. It was like an anaconda mating ball. Janitor One: And that's a compliment. Janitor Two : Yeah. So, subplots. Janitor One: They weren't sewn together well at all. Janitor Two: Nope. First, let's play with Todd and his issues. The poor rich girl preys on innocent and sweet Todd. Janitor One: This was Todd in cardboard cut-out mode. Janitor Two: Yeah. Janitor One: You know, I didn't really like Todd till the later books. When he had some...oh, I don't know....depth, I guess is the word... Janitor Two: The real Todd had a photo shoot in L.A. so they pulled the trusty cutout out of the closet and strapped it to the back of Liz's bike with bungee lines. Janitor One: Makes more sense than his fling with Courtney. Todd's not that stupid. Janitor Two: Hehe... Yeah. So we both agree that that subplot with both pathetic and painful. Janitor One: Yes. Janitor Two: The fat-kid subplot. Barry's rise to glory. Janitor One: I like this subplot. Janitor Two: Me too. Janitor One: The stupid fat kid who no one likes and only Liz is nice to turns out to know a lot about animals and saves the day! Corny, really corny, but I liked it. Janitor Two: Barry was cute, he was pathetic, but he wasn't....I want to say annoying, but he sort of was. Janitor One: Compared to the others he was absolutely lovable. Janitor Two: SweetValleybrand corn. They make weggies now, too. Janitor One: Hehehe… Janitor Two: So Barry gets a thumbs up for pure nutritional value. you have to have your veggies. Janitor One: Lila and Ms. Dalton. Janitor Two: I wished they'd have gotten into a real fist fight and one of them would have been thrown off a cliff into the wild rapids of doom (c). I don't care which one, as long as they stopped interacting with each other. Janitor One: There you go. I liked Lila lording power over her, though. That was kind of funny. Janitor Two: The line that just played from the song I'm listening to right now said, "Lonely people tumble downwards." Yep, that's about right. Janitor Two: It was kinda funny. Janitor One: Did you notice Liz and Todd dancing to the Jackson 5? Janitor Two: Hehe…. Yeah Janitor One: That's their song now. Janitor Two: But, yeah. on to the Bruce-Barry-Amy subplot. Janitor One: Annie? Janitor Two: Yeah. I butchered that.... Janitor One: It was Bruce being himself, I don't know why it was such a big fuss for them. Janitor Two: Thinking about something else... Janitor One: Maybe because they had to deal with him 24/7? I snickered at his cracks about Annie, I must admit. And I laughed my ass off when he tried to comfort Jessica. Janitor Two: Bruce took a lot of good shots in this book. Pure Bruce-ness. Janitor One: He just seemed like such a little kid. laughing as he tortures the butterfly, but immediately tearful as he tears it's wings off. Janitor Two: Yeah. He acts like he has PMS, a bit. One second he's snapping at everyone, the next he's spouting the sappiest lines of the entire SV series. Major mood swings. Maybe he's preggers? Janitor One: No comment… Janitor Two: Hehehe… Janitor One: But that line, "We'll only risk one Patman at a time.…" Janitor Two: So on to the Bruce-Roger "tension?" Janitor One: He made fun of Barry and Annie way more than he did Roger. Janitor Two: Yeah. but the narrative sure played it up. Janitor One: Yeah. Janitor Two: It's almost like the author reminding you, "Oh, yeah, and he hates Roger, so remember that, because it will be important soon." Janitor One: Which is sad. Janitor Two: Very sad. Umm, Jess and man #57...... Janitor One: I hated it. The only good part was when she and Bruce were cooking together and she was mortified that Robbie called her a good little girl. Janitor Two: Yeah. I like that part. Janitor One: Robbie was stupid, Jessica was stupider. The end. Janitor Two: The end. Other plots? Janitor One: I liked Jessica and Lila scheming to get rid of Courtney. That was funny.. Janitor Two: Yeah. it was a little too "Parent Trap" for me. Janitor One: Yeah, a little bit, but the lime green Jello bit was sort of original. Janitor Two: I just kept seeing Haley mills whenever it was suppose to be Jessica. Janitor One: Heheheheh…. Janitor Two: The Jello was great. Wweet Valley corn goes very good with Sweet Valley Jello. I don't think there's ever been a bad Jello ref in the series. Janitor One: I don't think so. And how about the grand finale? Janitor Two: ......................... Janitor One: Working together to put the fire out, brings everyone to unite against Courtney. Janitor Two: *shakes head* Janitor One: Who set it on fire to begin with. Janitor Two: It's probably the worse-placed plot device I have ever seen. Ever. Janitor One: Yeah, I know. They did put a nice bit of foreshadowing in there, I will say. They hinted there was a drought that year and they had to be especially careful with the fires. Usually they overlook little things like that. Janitor Two: True. So they get a Todd toenail for that. Janitor One: Ewwww..... Janitor Two: Yeah. Janitor One: Ok, so plot established, characters? Janitor Two: But so far I'm being stingy with my Todd heads...I wanna save them for better books. Hmm, makes me think of the Heero kitty manga I have where Heero kitty plays with Trowa heads... Janitor One: Heheheh… Janitor Two: Hehe… So, yes, characters. Liz, Jess, Todd, Bruce, Roger, Annie, Courtney, Collins, Dalton, Lila, Barry..... Janitor One: Barry. Barry is the token fat kid who doesn't fit in. which makes me like him. Janitor Two: Hehe… He's cute. But there's Liz with her token "meaningful looks." She'd be so useful in a really bad situation. Like if someone was gonna kill themself, or something. she could look at them meaningfully, and everything would be all better. Janitor One: *snort* Janitor Two: Hehehe… Janitor One: Lila. Lila's herself here. Devious and snotty. Janitor Two: Lila was.......................too Lila. I think the writers was unfamiliar with who Lila Fowler is suppose to be. she went from being Lila to being the token spoiled rich girl. Too much for my tastes. Janitor One: Ms. Dalton. Janitor Two: Over the cliff. Real fast. That plot was not needed.... Not at all. Cutting it would have lost them, what? Five pages, at most? It could have gone. It wasn't even filler. Janitor One: Yeah. Mr. Collins. You get to sort of see things from his POV here. Which is different, but kind of nice. I like him. Janitor Two: I don't know. I usually like him. I think he came close to right infringement with his meaningful looks, but Liz likes him, so she shouldn't sue him. By way of this book, he was one of the best characters, though. Janitor One: I like how he got mad with Lila Janitor Two: Yeah, that scene was great. Janitor One: Definitely. So Courtney. Janitor Two: Ewwy. Janitor One: Spoiled little rich girl. Didn't like her at all. I like the other spoiled rich Courtney better. Janitor Two: Yeah. I think they're long-lost twins, or something. Or maybe one Courtney got amnesia, so she got to meet Todd all over again and try to seduce him again. Janitor One: She got further the first time. Janitor Two: Hehe… So, Bruce? Janitor One: Bruce was typical Bruce. The mean bad boy who turns over a new leave for 5-10 minutes Janitor Two: Hehe… Yeah. Janitor One: I just love that about him. Janitor Two: It was smoke inhalation. Made him a bit heady. Janitor One: That had to be it. Janitor Two: He has more "changes of heart" than anyone. He has about a dozen for Roger alone.... Janitor One: Hehehe… Janitor Two: Roger. Janitor One: Roger was nearly nonexistent in this book. Janitor Two: Roger was adorable as usual. Not much screen time, but still, cute. Janitor One: Olivia got more screen time. Janitor Two: He was only there to help put out the well-foreshadowed fire. His very presences was foreshadowing for the fire, really. I'm surprised you didn't pick up on that.... Janitor One: Me too. Janitor Two: I think that's everyone. Janitor One: Liz and Jess....ugh and Todd. Oh my. Janitor Two: Oh. how could we have forgotten them? Janitor One: I wish I could sometimes. Janitor Two: Well, Liz didn't do much, Jess didn't think much, and, as we said, the real Todd was out of town. Janitor One: So… done? Janitor Two: Yeppers. Janitor One: Best: Jessica sobbing her eyes out in the kitchen and Bruce trying to console her Janitor Two: Now, there are a bunch of scenes I wanna point out because they're too good to pass up. Janitor One: OK. Janitor Two: Bruce's Patman line, Jess bawling, Barry being inappropriate for camping *giggle,* Janitor One: I will admit this book has it's moments, but overall, it's one of the worst Janitor Two: Bruce and his buddies burning food. I don't know why, but just the thought of him cooking makes me laugh. Janitor One: Yeah it does. Janitor Two: OK. I think those are all my bests. Janitor One: Worst: All off Todd's evil cardboard cut-outs nauseating speeches reassuring Liz he loves her and no one else. Janitor Two: Yeah. There's a tape recorder tied to the back of the cutout and when he has to say something, they push the play button and you get to hear a pre-recorded message from Todd that he thought might be useful. Sometime you have to let it play for a while before you get to something relevant to the situation though... But that's the only downfall. Janitor Two: Worst: the anti-smoking P.S.A. Janitor One: So, your rating? Janitor Two: my rating............I wish I could rate it in sections. Janitor One: Overall. Janitor Two: I'm going to give it one and half fake, cutout Todd heads. Janitor One: I give it one Bruce butt. Janitor Two: Hehehehe…. Bruce on his face in the dirty with his pants around his ankles.... I can't see it. Janitor One: *mad hysterical giggles* Janitor Two: *ccs giggles* Janitor One: So kids, tune in next time to find out what happens when Jessica goes against Bruce, in our next review #86 Jessica Against Bruce Janitor Two: Yay! More Bruce-ness! Janitor One: Don't bring me down, Bruce! *dances* Janitor Two: I do want to put a janitor's note at the end of this review, though. If anyone reading this is actually using these reviews to determine if they are going to read certain of the books, do read this one. It's worth it for the random laughing fits. *dances* Janitor One: Even though it sucks and it's horribly written, it's a classic. Janitor Two: Yeah. Janitor One: Hey, it even made the New York Times bestselling list and was the first YA novel to do so. that says something......thought I'm not sure what it is.... |
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