\\#1 Can't Stay Away;

Conner: She [Elizabeth] probably writes flowery prose about how getting her first zit was a rite of passage.

Conner: Oooh. Barbie has a brain, huh?
Elizabeth: Oooh. Ken has an attitude.
Conner: So we’re suddenly a couple?

Elizabeth: I wouldn’t go on a date with you if you were the last guy on Earth.
Conner: That’s usually the line the girl gives the guy right before they ride off into the sunset.

Tia: Completely ignore perfectly good gossip. Fail to laugh at any of my jokes.
Conner: Sorry, Tee. Could you hold up your hand or something at the parts where I’m supposed to laugh.

Jessica: I’d rather kiss the toilet bowl in the locker room than kiss you ever again.

\\#2 Say it to My Face;

Conner: Shacking up with Barbie. I can’t believe it. Don’t you have some pink Malibu Dream House you can run off to or something?

Conner: Oh, right, the school paper. What do you cover, hard-hitting news stories like whether the cafeteria should serve regular milk and chocolate milk?
Liz: Well, at least I do something instead of just ranking on everything! What activities are you involved in—President of the Little Ironic Remarks Club?
Conner: I think we have an opening for treasurer. Interested?

Cherie: Oh, I’m sorry, are we in a sleazy nightclub? Silly me, I though this was the cafeteria.

Tia: Ignore him. He’s from a primitive culture that communicates exclusively in quote-unquote wacky one-liners.

Andy: By the way, we’re not axe murderers or anything. I mean, we’d tell you if we were.

Andy: We’ve never seen this girl before. She just sat down here with us and we were afraid to ask her to leave. She looks dangerously unstable.

Andy: You can never do too much frolicking.

Andy: Angel’s so whipped, he could take a class with a supermodel and not concentrate on anything except his notes.
Angel: He’s got a point.

Todd: Well, Jess, I hate to be the one to say this to your face, but what do you expect?
Jessica: What do I expect?
Todd: Yeah. I mean, if you hit on one girl’s boyfriend and sleep with another guy in the same night, what do you think people are going to call you?

\\#3 So Cool;

Andy: Well, I don’t want any part of it. I like to avoid the wrath of Conner at all costs.
Tia: What wrath of Conner? You’re afraid of a shrug and an irritated sigh?
Andy: What can I say? I’m a wuss.

Andy: Conner is not going to like this. ‘Don’t-notice-me’ is his middle name. Did you know that? Conner Don’t-notice-me McDermott—the Third.
Tia: He’ll be fine. He’ll kick and scream, but he’ll appreciate it in the end.
Andy: Sounds kinky.

Liz: Megan! Have you seen my mascara?
Conner: I borrowed it. Sorry.
Liz: Very funny.
Conner: What? It makes my eyes stand out. That’s very important, you know.
Liz: You’re in a good mood today.
Conner: Yeah, well, don’t tell anyone.

Conner: You want to know where you stand? Fine. I was just having a little fun. And I’m not having fun anymore.
Maria: I’m leaving.
Conner: So soon? Sure you won’t stay for a burger?

\\#4 I've Got A Secret;

Jeremy: Well, at least you're not crying.
Jessica: What do you mean?
Jeremy: You know, it's no use . . . crying over spilled milk.
Jessica: You did not just say that!
Jeremy: Sorry. It had to be done.

Liz: Did you just say something to make me feel better? Wait a minute. I have to write this down.
Conner: Mark the time.

Maria: No means no by the pool too.

\\#5 If You Only Knew;

Andy: You mean like that time he insisted that 101 Dalmatians was Disney's poor attempt at film noir?
Tia: And then he said that the ending would've been more realistic if Cruella de Vil had just made the damn coat!

Tia: Because Conner is the master of unrequited love. I don't think he knows how to…requite. Is that a word?

Conner: Give it a rest, Liz. Just admit that I am the Monopoly master and you are merely one of my minions.
Liz: As if.
Conner: Ooh, excellent comeback. Next time why don't you go for something even more sophisticated, like, 'I know you are, but what am I?'"

Conner: Another tireless day at the Oracle for Lois Lane?
Liz: Actually no. I had a physics lab to finish up after school. You might want to get your X-ray vision checked out.
Conner: Are you implying that I'm superman?
Liz: There you go, pairing us up again.

\\#6 Your Basic Nightmare;

Will: You're not helping here.
Melissa: I'm supposed to help you break up with me? That's rich.

\\#7 Boy Meets Girl;

Keith: Romeo and Juliet, the Bard's star-crossed lovers.
Jeremy: Cool. That's romantic.
Keith: Sure. I guess. If you think gang warfare, murder, and suicide are romantic.

Maria: Look, I'll make this easy for you. You want my blessing to go after Conner? Fine. You have it. Don't waste time feeling guilty or trying to justify things to me--just go for it. But don't expect our friendship to continue.
Liz: You can't mean that. I'm sorry for what I've done. You've got to believe me.
Maria: That's all I'm going to say, Elizabeth. Why don't you get out of here? I'm sure Conner's waiting for you.